Do I have to give up my planner card because I didn't anticipate a contractor being an idiot?
The condensed version:
I started meeting with a contractor in April to discuss garage tear-down and new build;
met with his architect shortly there after (still in April), gave them a photo of what I was thinking but (in error?) admitted that we were open to suggestions to make the job/ price reasonable.
Months and months go by; we texted and called, waiting for the architect's drawings; he responds every few days with vague comments but little actual answers.
[We've had 2 other quotes since then and the prices were higher.]
Original builder changes architect; I speak to new architect, ask her to come do site visit; she says she'd rather not based on time constraints.
We pay for 1/2 the cost of the plans to the builder in July.
All along, we've been asking for a price and told the builder our budget. We get the final price last week (without seeing the plans) and the builder wants us to sign a contract.
I'm not comfortable signing a contract without seeing the plans. Builder tells me that the architect won't release the plans until we pay the rest of the fees, which have gone up $1,000 because of "substantial changes". Apparently the architect has now drawn two sets of full construction drawings. (Also, she has no contract with the builder, even though she's asked him repeatedly for one).
That doesn't make sense to me. Why would she do construction drawings without talking to the client? We aren't getting answers to texts or phone calls so we ask builder to stop by. He comes over and basically says we need to sign a contract with him immediately and that the architect is holding our plans hostage. We tell him we'll have an answer by tomorrow.
Today, he texts demanding an answer (keep in mind, we started this conversation in APRIL).
I call the architect to figure out the communication gap. She tells me that the price of the plans are $1600 cheaper than what the builder told me. She also says that the builder made sure that the plans would be his, not ours -- even though the payment is coming from us.
... SO, I'll be buying my garage plans directly from the architect for about $1000 cheaper than I've been told (we've already paid the builder $600 more than he's paid the architect). Then I'll be shopping the plans around to get the best value for the building we want.
And I'll be smarter next time around... hopefully.

