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NEVERENDING ♾️ The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

Yesterday my 8th grader had an orientation for the high school marching band for next year. She's not even in the band yet but the band boosters have already hit me up for $350 for who knows what and have let us know that the band will be going to Rome for some performance in the fall of 2025 for a cost of ~$4,000. :r:
 
WSU MUP Student said:
Yesterday my 8th grader had an orientation for the high school marching band for next year. She's not even in the band yet but the band boosters have already hit me up for $350 for who knows what and have let us know that the band will be going to Rome for some performance in the fall of 2025 for a cost of ~$4,000. :r:
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My just finished 8th grader has already been in the first of his HS marching events - Memorial Day parade.
 
WSU MUP Student said:
Yesterday my 8th grader had an orientation for the high school marching band for next year. She's not even in the band yet but the band boosters have already hit me up for $350 for who knows what and have let us know that the band will be going to Rome for some performance in the fall of 2025 for a cost of ~$4,000. :r:
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While my daughter only did band from 6th to 10th grade, I can say that our band boosters were good at raising money. There was no band fee and the big trip only cost a fraction of the true cost.
 
former coworker's kid in band

Fund raising to send the HS band to march in the Tournment of Roses Parade - once in a life time experience - so I made a donation.
 
My oldest daughter turns 21 today. Taking her out for a steak dinner tonight. Her mom and I put her through a lot growing up. Moved four different times. 3 different schools as a young kid before we finally settled down. We were somewhat youngish parents and we kind of grew up with her. While not perfect (because no one is), she's become a great person with a lot to look forward too. It's a pretty nostalgic day for me looking at where we were at in life when we had her and where we are all at today.
 
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JNA said:
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"Being bored" was one of my favorite parts of summer.

When we were younger it meant playing with the neighborhood kids "until the street lights came on." When I got older it meant bicycle treks around the Buffalo suburbs. But there was also a fair amount of "watching grandma." My dad's mother lived with us and she needed help with things from time to time. Aside from an actual family vacation trip maybe every three or four years, we didn't do much over the summer.
 
Doohickie said:
Aside from an actual family vacation trip maybe every three or four years, we didn't do much over the summer.
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Yeah, that was similar to my experience, too. With a teenager at home, I witness how families program their kids' lives, so different than my experience from back in the day, and I feel left out and that I am bad parent because I am not able to do that, and no one is around in the neighborhood left to hang out with.

We as planners talk about creating neighborhoods and creating place, and in that regard, I again feel like a failure, because despite my best professional effort, the culture is such that it feels like no one is around in the neighborhoods - they are on the road being carted around to out of town events and tournaments.

I suppose this is a function of certain community variables that are not present in all neighborhoods. Sorry, I don't mean to generalize from my experience in my particular neighborhood and to make it seem like my experience is a universal. Obviously, that is not the case. Neighborhoods with different income attainment levels likely allocate their limited resources in other ways. I've come across academic articles, and not necessarily from JAPA, that discuss how certain kinds of communities and demographics are able to capitalize on travel sporting leagues and events, and those opportunities for those lucky (proactive?) families are borne out to the detriment of the broader community. Free choice and all that. If you can afford it (financially, or with your time, or possibly both).
 
Our oldest had her 8th grade graduation promotion last night. It hardly feels possible for me to be old enough to have a high schooler! :oops:


JNA said:
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This hits close to home.

My wife likes to have organized camps and activities for the kids basically every week all summer whereas I'm constantly fighting to let them be bored for a couple long stretches of time. I don't care if they sit inside the house playing video games and watching The Price is Right and Little House on the Prairie all day (okay, those were my summer shows when I was a kid but kids these days probably have better options). If they get too bored, maybe that will force them to go knock on the neighbor kids doors or something. A week or two of summer camp are nice if you can swing it but all day, every day, every week? No thanks. It's summers when I wish my parents were a bit younger and my dad still did a lot of farming because I'd go drop my kids off at the farm for a couple of weeks to drive tractors, clean out horse stalls. pick vegetables, etc.
 
Wannaplan? said:
We as planners talk about creating neighborhoods and creating place,
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My theory as to why neighborhoods don't function like they used to: six-foot privacy fences.

When neighbors didn't have fences, or had four-foot chain link fences, neighbors had more direct face time with each other. If neighbor A was barbecuing and neighbor B was gardening, they could see each other and strike up a conversation.

When we lived in Michigan, that's the way it was. I knew all my immediate neighbors, and the ones on the same street as me I would say I knew very well (constantly borrowed tools from Dick on one side, and even used his Ford "family" (wink*wink) discount when we bought a car. Nona on the other side was a grandma to our kids and baby sat them.
 
My answer, it's the school system in this state. We have so many charter schools that the public school system is no longer the center of the neighborhood. So families no longer gravitate to schools in the hood and the kids in the hood don't know each other because they all get driven to different schools. Back in my day I would walk to school and knew every kid in the mile block my school was in. Now get off my lawn.
 
I grew up in the middle of 500 acres. I dreamed of living in the burbs and being able to walk or ride to a friends house. My mom was a teacher and dad was a farmer so I spent most of my time during summer watching TV or wondering through the woods. It wasn't bad, but did fuel my tv court and gameshow addiction. When we got older we'd usually spend a couple of weeks at different camps (4-H or church). Around the same time, if my dad caught me watching too much tv he would find a job cleaning fence rows, mucking out the barn, or digging out cattle gaps. I think sometimes he would give me the smallest or dullest practical tool to use so I didn't finish too quickly. We typically only took a real vacation about every three years. A few times dad would have to ride a bus home because something happened on the farm.

I'd love to let my kid hangout at home more, but we don't have the support structure or anyone at the house to do it. She would watch crappy Youtube shows all day but it can't be much worse than Divorce Court or Sale of the Century. So now she's doing Art, Rock Band, and Gymnastics camps on different weeks.

Last year they moved the start of school up to the beginning of August and gave us a 3 or 4 day weekend every month instead and it was so nice. Apparently, it didn't work well for others so they went back to the 2nd week of August for school start.
 
Doohickie said:
My theory as to why neighborhoods don't function like they used to: six-foot privacy fences.
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And television. And air conditioning. And the movement away from homes with porches (actual usable porches). And the interwebs. And Obama (thanks Obama).
 
Things were better when summer television was horribly boring. I could be left with the TV for days but soaps were awful and PBS was pretty dry during the day. The other two channels didn't usually come in well enough to bother.

I admittedly overschedule my kid for camps because I'm pretty sure he'd go horizontal in front of YouTube/ Top Gear for 10 hours at a stretch every day and I just don't have the energy to fight with him about it right now nor the time off work to come home and monitor him.

I don't think neighborhood kids get together like they used to. We live in a neighborhood now but I grew up in the sticks so don't really have a childhood experience to compare.
 
Gedunker said:
And television. And air conditioning. And the movement away from homes with porches (actual usable porches). And the interwebs. And Obama (thanks Obama).
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Eh... TV? We had TV when I was a kid, still talked to the neighbors. We had TV when we lived in Dearborn, still talked to the neighbors.
 
A lot of the neighborhoods near us still have block parties. They seem to be particularly popular over the 4th of July holiday and the first few weekends after Labor Day. Our particular 'hood doesn't have one (we have more winding streets, larger lots, and no sidewalks) but just east of us you get the traditional grid street pattern and postage stamp-size lots and they'll have the parties. I remember being out on a run one evening when we first moved here and saw a street shut down and all the people out there socializing and then noticed a few more like that over the next few weeks and thought that was something that only ever happened in television and movies!

My oldest has a close friend who lives in a neighborhood with a big annual block party and she likes going over there for that since that particular neighborhood has a ton of kids from her school in it. She always looks forward to it each year and was just talking about it the other day and was hoping it wasn't going to be on a day we are out of town this year.
 
Doohickie said:
Eh... TV? We had TV when I was a kid, still talked to the neighbors. We had TV when we lived in Dearborn, still talked to the neighbors.
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Oh, well, did you have MTV in Dearborn? I bet you didn't. Video hadn't killed the radio star yet, dude. Cable changed everything.
 
Being a parent is hard. It's not hard in the way anything else is hard. You bring kids into the world and you do your best to take care of them, but you have to let them experience things and live their own lives. So yes, you get to feel the exuberance of that first job through their eyes again, and their wonder at things when they are little. And yes, you get to feel their new interests piqued in things, and watch them become, I don't know, whole people as they grow up and it's wonderful - but you also have to feel all their disappointments, and their losses, and their worry about their futures, and it's like reliving it all again all the time.

At the end of some days, I feel like I've lived six lives, all of them different. I'm exhausted, and sometimes I have to admit to myself that I'm not always happy at the end of a day. I try to be happy, because I feel like that's my number one thing to give my kids: positivity, I guess? Don't listen to me, I woke up tired today.
 
ursus said:
Being a parent is hard. It's not hard in the way anything else is hard. You bring kids into the world and you do your best to take care of them, but you have to let them experience things and live their own lives. So yes, you get to feel the exuberance of that first job through their eyes again, and their wonder at things when they are little. And yes, you get to feel their new interests piqued in things, and watch them become, I don't know, whole people as they grow up and it's wonderful - but you also have to feel all their disappointments, and their losses, and their worry about their futures, and it's like reliving it all again all the time.

At the end of some days, I feel like I've lived six lives, all of them different. I'm exhausted, and sometimes I have to admit to myself that I'm not always happy at the end of a day. I try to be happy, because I feel like that's my number one thing to give my kids: positivity, I guess? Don't listen to me, I woke up tired today.
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One of my favorite poems...

poets.org

On Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
poets.org poets.org
 
Today is my kids' last day of school for the year. They're getting out more than a week earlier than all their previous years and the district has now switched from going back before labor day until the Wednesday after the holiday. This will be their longest summer break ever. :oops:

:music:There's nearly 104 days in summer vacation... :music:

We're gonna be living in Phineas and Ferb times here!

 
btrage said:
One of my favorite poems...

poets.org

On Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
poets.org poets.org
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Absolutely love that poem. It's very true. They are part of the future. We are part of the past. Much the same as our parent are and where. I write this while looking at the pictures of my grand daughter on my desk.
 
WSU MUP Student said:
Today is my kids' last day of school for the year. They're getting out more than a week earlier than all their previous years and the district has now switched from going back before labor day until the Wednesday after the holiday. This will be their longest summer break ever. :oops:

:music:There's nearly 104 days in summer vacation... :music:

We're gonna be living in Phineas and Ferb times here!

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We've been singing it for a couple of weeks. My kid was disappointed when she figured out she only got 75 days of summer vacation.
 
btrage - 4. I need to find a new hobby now that my kids are done with school.



I said the same thing when The Girl went to college. I need to find a new hobby.
 
Doohickie said:
My theory as to why neighborhoods don't function like they used to: six-foot privacy fences.

When neighbors didn't have fences, or had four-foot chain link fences, neighbors had more direct face time with each other. If neighbor A was barbecuing and neighbor B was gardening, they could see each other and strike up a conversation.

When we lived in Michigan, that's the way it was. I knew all my immediate neighbors, and the ones on the same street as me I would say I knew very well (constantly borrowed tools from Dick on one side, and even used his Ford "family" (wink*wink) discount when we bought a car. Nona on the other side was a grandma to our kids and baby sat them.
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Fences seem to be a regional thing. Most new subdivisions in Illinois don't seem to have them, while in the SW it seems like the backyards are surrounded by actual walls.
 
Gedunker said:
You ain't seen nuthin' yet, sonny boy. Hyperdrive, baby - here it comes!
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Yep...because in about 3 months I'll then have a 16 year old and a 15 year old in addition to the 17 year old.

Big milestones this summer - two doing driver's training and one starting HS marching band.
 
mendelman said:
Yep...because in about 3 months I'll then have a 16 year old and a 15 year old in addition to the 17 year old.

Big milestones this summer - two doing driver's training and one starting HS marching band.
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pfft...#2 is graduating high school Saturday...meaning I'll have 2 in college in 2 months. :grimace: :moneywithwings:
 
fringe said:
Second grandchild delivered same time Manhattan jury read out 34 counts.
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I remember last year we were flying into NYC for a layover at the same time Trump was being arraigned at the court in Manhattan on the hush money trial. We never left the airport but I like to remind my kids that I took them to New York for spring break on such a historic day!
 
My child texts me from Pride festival Saturday - "we should have gotten another key for the car. I lost mine."

My mind goes to all kinds of dark, expensive places for the next two hours.

Just as I'm pulling out of the driveway to go pick them up, they call to say they found the keys at lost-and-found.
 
Gedunker said:
My child texts me from Pride festival Saturday - "we should have gotten another key for the car. I lost mine."

My mind goes to all kinds of dark, expensive places for the next two hours.

Just as I'm pulling out of the driveway to go pick them up, they call to say they found the keys at lost-and-found.
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My middle child called me with "I locked my keys in my car" so I said that we will see how well Geico roadside assistance works. Not going to lie, I did not want to drive 45 minutes with the spare key. Geico was there before I could have made the trip.
 
Gotta love my 17-year-old nephew. I did the old "we don't own stock in the power company" bit after turning the A/C back up from 60 to a decent setting of 77, and he replied, "Actually, Uncle James, let's break this down. Your retirement is via NV PERS, among others? Well, turns out that a lot of the portfolio for NV PERS is Berkshire Hathaway, which owns NV Energy. So actually, we DO own stock in the power company."

I really couldn't fault the kid's logic, but I think he missed my point entirely.

Jim

Planit said:
This is one reason we have AAA & The Girl knows how to use that service now.
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We dropped our AAA membership since they no longer provide printed maps or TourBooks, which were the main reason we had them. They are a pale shadow of their former selves. (We had been members collectively since 1994, and my parents for decades before that.)

We have a towing reimbursement service though our insurance company, so we are covered for that. You can get a lot of the same discounts through AARP, which, at age 47, we are old enough to join and it's worth the $12 a year if just for the magazine.

Jim
 
jumbach said:
We dropped our AAA membership since they no longer provide printed maps or TourBooks, which were the main reason we had them. They are a pale shadow of their former selves. (We had been members collectively since 1994, and my parents for decades before that.)

We have a towing reimbursement service though our insurance company, so we are covered for that. You can get a lot of the same discounts through AARP, which, at age 47, we are old enough to join and it's worth the $12 a year if just for the magazine.

Jim
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My parents cancelled their AAA membership last year for the same reason as you. He had been a member since the late 1950s.

I guess you can still get triptiks and maps through them but they're all electronic now which isn't really that useful for a lot of their older membership (and I would imagine younger folks know how to just get that stuff for free elsewhere).
 
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