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NEVERENDING ♾️ The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

WSU MUP Student said:
I know we had a thread somewhere here around the topic of older parents, but...

My daughter's best friend has older parents. The girl just turned 11 last week and a couple years ago I did some math and figured out her dad was about 50 when when was born. They have an older son (he's 22 or 23 or so). Last week one day I went to go pick up our daughter over there and in the course of conversation with the mom (who likes to talk talk talk) she told me something along the lines of "I'm about to be 62, I want these kids out of the house!"

Later that evening my wife asked me what news/gossip I got from the mom when I was picking up our daughter and I told her I knew the mom's age and she didn't believe me. Who knows... maybe the daughter is actually adopted or maybe the mom had a baby very late but either way, I cannot imagine being about 70-years-old when my last is out of high school!

That's all. I just had to share some neighborhood gossip.
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I was 19 when my eldest was born, she's about to turn 28. My youngest was born when I was 38, she turned 9 earlier this year. That's 18.5 years difference if you are counting. My husband was 46 when the youngest was born, he doesn't have any other kids.

I have been among the youngest parents and now am in the older parent group. Some of Bella's classmates have grandparents that are my husband's age. My husband will retire when he's 62 and the youngest is in high school, apparently Social Security pays an extra benefit if you retire while having a child under 18 in the household. I don't think either of my children will ever leave. We live in the eldest's house and she lives in our house but she's at her house with us half of the week. My husband asks her what she's going to do if she gets married, she said bring him home. He asked her what if he didn't want to live between the two houses and she said that's a dealbreaker. The youngest says she's never leaving, ever.
 
kjel said:
I was 19 when my eldest was born, she's about to turn 28. My youngest was born when I was 38, she turned 9 earlier this year. That's 18.5 years difference if you are counting. My husband was 46 when the youngest was born, he doesn't have any other kids.

I have been among the youngest parents and now am in the older parent group. Some of Bella's classmates have grandparents that are my husband's age. My husband will retire when he's 62 and the youngest is in high school, apparently Social Security pays an extra benefit if you retire while having a child under 18 in the household. I don't think either of my children will ever leave. We live in the eldest's house and she lives in our house but she's at her house with us half of the week. My husband asks her what she's going to do if she gets married, she said bring him home. He asked her what if he didn't want to live between the two houses and she said that's a dealbreaker. The youngest says she's never leaving, ever.
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Wow, you certainly have devoted children. Mine turned 16 this week. He's counting the days to his 18th birthday when he's old enough to sign leases and move out.
 
mendelman said:
I'm sure he loves being told what to do in every facet of his life...and that's why he's chomping to get out on his own.



:cool:
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Oddly enough, despite having ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) he's stated on several occasions that he wouldn't mind joining the service, and even mentioned the Marines as the branch of preference. I have tried on numerous occasions to explain to him that 'you know how you absolutely HATE it whenever teachers or parents tell you what to do? Well, most of your life in the service will consist of following orders from others.' I think there's a major disconnect in understanding this intellectually versus experientially.

If he joined the Marines, I'd give him three weeks before he ended up in the brig.
 
May I recommend the Navy. There is still some order, but we were never as rank obsessed as the Marines.

For now I'm enjoying an overly emotional 15 yo daughter who is making some poor decisions and of course we're the ones that are wrong for saying no. Typical parenting stuff, but I hate it.
 
DVD said:
May I recommend the Navy. There is still some order, but we were never as rank obsessed as the Marines.

For now I'm enjoying an overly emotional 15 yo daughter who is making some poor decisions and of course we're the ones that are wrong for saying no. Typical parenting stuff, but I hate it.
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I think he'd run into trouble regardless of the branch, but lets be honest the Marine Corps is the one branch of the service that acts like it is perpetually on a wartime footing. Visiting Army, AF, and Navy bases I was blown away with how relaxed and casual things seemed. Almost like working a regular job. It's entirely possible I might have retired from the military had I chosen a different branch.
 
Maister said:
Oddly enough, despite having ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) he's stated on several occasions that he wouldn't mind joining the service, and even mentioned the Marines as the branch of preference. I have tried on numerous occasions to explain to him that 'you know how you absolutely HATE it whenever teachers or parents tell you what to do? Well, most of your life in the service will consist of following orders from others.' I think there's a major disconnect in understanding this intellectually versus experientially.

If he joined the Marines, I'd give him three weeks before he ended up in the brig.
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What the hell do you know?

[/slams bedroom door]
______________________________________________________________________
This is fun. ;)

I basically understand your plight having a brother that was very similar when we were younger, a 16 year old nephew that seems perpetually grumpy and confrontational and essentially three newly teenage sons that can increase the intensity of moodiness in our house one to three orders of magnitude at seemingly any moment.
 
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Aren't a lot of Marines cut from the ODD cloth? Maybe not whole cloth, but a few bolts or so?
 
Maister said:
I think he'd run into trouble regardless of the branch, but lets be honest the Marine Corps is the one branch of the service that acts like it is perpetually on a wartime footing. Visiting Army, AF, and Navy bases I was blown away with how relaxed and casual things seemed. Almost like working a regular job. It's entirely possible I might have retired from the military had I chosen a different branch.
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Someone who was a Coastie (for draft deferment purposes) described it as being like Boy Scouts without adult supervision.
 
Gedunker said:
Aren't a lot of Marines cut from the ODD cloth? Maybe not whole cloth, but a few bolts or so?
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They beat that outta you during boot camp. Essentially, they attempt to redirect all that anger and aggression away from the command structure and focus it on the mission/enemy. If one is too far over into the ODD spectrum scale and are unable to redirect, it can end very badly for them. My guess is Junior would be one of them.
 
Old joke that’s too long to type today. Basically each branch has a private follow the general’s stupid order that gets them killed to show how brave they are. When it comes to the sailor he flips off the admiral and says F U. All the generals agree he’s the bravest.
 
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Maister said:
Wow, you certainly have devoted children. Mine turned 16 this week. He's counting the days to his 18th birthday when he's old enough to sign leases and move out.
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I realize my post may seem a little Hotel California-ish, but they oldest is free to leave at any time and the youngest will be able to when she is finished high school. I doubt either of them will for different reasons.

FWIW I was that kid that peaced out weeks after my 18th birthday because I already worked close to full time and managed the household for an entire year when my mother was debilitatingly depressed. The dynamic changed that year when I was the caretaker and household manager and when she recovered she wanted it to go back to how it was. I had zero interest. Eventually we made our peace, bought a home together and except for 3 years lived together until she passed away.

I think because my oldest mostly lived in an extended family unit that has been normalized for her.
 
After seeing the desperate hiring initiatives many national chains are resorting to right now, my 13 yr old is counting the days till he’s 14 (next year) so he can get a job and starting making money.

This is also the boy with his own TD Ameritrade account for buying/selling stocks.
 
My baby is growing up.

She used to say I was allowed to go to college with her and could be her roommate.

Last night she told me I couldn't go because she was going to have a roommate who wasn't her mom!

She still wants us to live with her and her wife when she is married and has kids and lives on a Maple Syrup and Goat farm in Vermont.
 
mendelman said:
After seeing the desperate hiring initiatives many national chains are resorting to right now, my 13 yr old is counting the days till he’s 14 (next year) so he can get a job and starting making money.

This is also the boy with his own TD Ameritrade account for buying/selling stocks.
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This weekend I took Junior with me to get fast food at the drive-thru. As it happens he recently quit his job as Sonic. We noticed several 'now hiring' signs in the vicinity while waiting in line. I mentioned to Junior that this is not a normal state of affairs and that jobs are typically much harder to come by. He seemed genuinely surprised when I told him about pounding the pavement for my first job as a teen and coming up empty handed for weeks. In his world employers have always been falling over themselves to hire any teenager with a pulse.
 
‘Class clowns’ may also be the most intelligent students
wgntv.com

‘Class clowns’ may also be the most intelligent students

Every class has a few students who just can’t help but crack jokes at every opportunity
wgntv.com wgntv.com

Researchers report children with higher than average levels of general knowledge and verbal reasoning tend to excel at humor.

The same isn’t necessarily true for adults, however. Researchers didn’t find a similarly strong connection between humor and grown-up intelligence.
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dandy_warhol said:
My baby is growing up.

She used to say I was allowed to go to college with her and could be her roommate.

Last night she told me I couldn't go because she was going to have a roommate who wasn't her mom!

She still wants us to live with her and her wife when she is married and has kids and lives on a Maple Syrup and Goat farm in Vermont.
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Grrrllls just wanna have fun!!
 
Ugh. Struggling to do the right thing for Itty Bitty. Our dog is still in the US and seems pretty happy with his temporary family. They love him and want to keep him.

We also love the doggy but are questioning what the right thing for him and for Itty Bitty would be. Hubby and I are considering letting the temporary family have the doggy because he would likely have a better quality of life since he would be living with 2 other doggies and have a nice yard and 3 bigger kids with which to play.

But the doggy is Itty Bitty's and Itty Bitty doesn't want to let the dog go. :( And Hubby and I have guilt over taking away everything familiar from Itty Bitty in moving her to Germany.
 
dandy_warhol said:
Ugh. Struggling to do the right thing for Itty Bitty. Our dog is still in the US and seems pretty happy with his temporary family. They love him and want to keep him.

We also love the doggy but are questioning what the right thing for him and for Itty Bitty would be. Hubby and I are considering letting the temporary family have the doggy because he would likely have a better quality of life since he would be living with 2 other doggies and have a nice yard and 3 bigger kids with which to play.

But the doggy is Itty Bitty's and Itty Bitty doesn't want to let the dog go. :( And Hubby and I have guilt over taking away everything familiar from Itty Bitty in moving her to Germany.
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Oh gosh, this is tough. Looks like he's been around for four years (yeah, I facestalked you).
The move to Germany is temporary, no?

In the divorce filed 2017, my brother claimed the dog he'd presented to my SIL for Valentine's Day a few years previously. She made him take the girl dog too, as they were a bonded pair. (And when she finally got her own place, it's one that won't let her have a pet, and ... mobility issues/dog walking.)
In 2019, "her" dog attended the local memorial service ... he didn't remember her. :/
 
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Veloise said:
Oh gosh, this is tough. Looks like he's been around for four years (yeah, I facestalked you).
The move to Germany is temporary, no?

In the divorce filed 2017, my brother claimed the dog he'd presented to my SIL for Valentine's Day a few years previously. She made him take the other dog, as they were a bonded pair. (And when she finally got her own place, it's one that won't let her have a pet, and ... mobility issues/dog walking.)
In 2019, "her" dog attended the local memorial service ... he didn't remember her. :/
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This move is feeling less and less temporary which adds to the complications.
 
Honestly I know it's probably a gigantic pain and an extra expense but I'd figure out a way to get the dog back into my household. I'm a firm believer that you make a commitment to your pets and absent significant issues such as death or health that precludes you from no longer properly caring for your animal I think you do what it takes. It also shows Itty Bitty the value and seriousness of commitment and what you do for love.
 
MD Planner said:
Honestly I know it's probably a gigantic pain and an extra expense but I'd figure out a way to get the dog back into my household. I'm a firm believer that you make a commitment to your pets and absent significant issues such as death or health that precludes you from no longer properly caring for your animal I think you do what it takes. It also shows Itty Bitty the value and seriousness of commitment and what you do for love.
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That is a very good point. We did make a commitment to him and our other pets [side eyes both special needs kitties] and I don't take that lightly. The part that gets me is would he have a better life where he is now?
 
MD Planner said:
Honestly I know it's probably a gigantic pain and an extra expense but I'd figure out a way to get the dog back into my household. I'm a firm believer that you make a commitment to your pets and absent significant issues such as death or health that precludes you from no longer properly caring for your animal I think you do what it takes. It also shows Itty Bitty the value and seriousness of commitment and what you do for love.
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So take a cue from Happy Gilmore, "You got a pet. You got a responsibility. If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour and call it quits. You get your ass out there and find that f*ckin' dog!"

 
dandy_warhol said:
That is a very good point. We did make a commitment to him and our other pets [side eyes both special needs kitties] and I don't take that lightly. The part that gets me is would he have a better life where he is now?
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Baug won't remember or compare his current vacation (five humans, two doggie friends). Your human buddies can foster/adopt a different dog if they want another one.
Presently: 5/3 people/dog ratio
Your family: 3/1
You can find other dogs to play with, or kidfriends to toss sticks.

Animals have short memories, despite the tear-jerking videos showing the adult lion racing over to embrace the animal rescuer visiting the new wildlife refuge. My current trouble-maker: arranges himself adjacent to me. It's okay if I pet him, but if I scoop him up for the cuddling I want, he tries to bite and scratch. I'll let him get away, and ten minutes later he's back to repeat the process.

I am thinking there's a flight solution besides the first option that popped up.
 
Picked up Itty Bitty from school today.

Me: Hi! How was your day?

IB: Good. I did not call "Suzie" a wimp or a baby.

Me: Oooook. Did she think you did?

IB: No. But I didn't call her that.


5 hrs later during a discussion about her day and a conversation IB had with a different friend:

IB: I may have called "Suzie" a wimp. And a baby.

Me: Did you call "Suzie" a name?

IB: I can't remember!!!

5 minutes later after a reminder that Santa is watching:

IB: I called her that! I'm sorry. Can I call her and apologize? Please don't call Santa.

Me: I don't have to call him for he already knows. Santa knows all.
 
dandy_warhol said:
Tomorrow evening the vet will come to help my beloved kitty boy over the Rainbow Bridge. We haven't told Itty Bitty yet. She will be heartbroken.

My parents' kitty was put to sleep about a month ago and Itty Bitty is still sad about that. Tomorrow is going to be hard for so many reasons.
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To live is to experience pain. It's not a fate we can escape
 
So twice now Junior has punched holes in drywall while having a rage fit. I'm going to appoint him the task of fixing both holes. Need to find easy instructions for him to do drywall repairs. I suspect he'll enjoy it. I just want to make sure he does a good job.
 
Maister said:
So twice now Junior has punched holes in drywall while having a rage fit. I'm going to appoint him the task of fixing both holes. Need to find easy instructions for him to do drywall repairs. I suspect he'll enjoy it. I just want to make sure he does a good job.
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Plenty of good examples on YouTube.

You might also want to find a few videos of people suffering severe consequences for punching holes in walls. But maybe that's just me . . . . .
 
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