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NEVERENDING ♾️ The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

Whose Yur Planner said:
Saturday involved a long trip for a Karate competition. Having been in Tae myself when I was younger, it was interesting. Let me tell you, the little ones can have at pretty good.:oops:. She ended up getting a medal on form. However, she's not much into sparing.
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My oldest took tkd for a bit and she loved the forms and was really good at memorizing the steps right away after doing it just once or twice. When we went to her first competition she did well and earned a medal on forms and watched some kids do sparing and she was adamant that she NEVER wanted to try that.

We kept at the tkd for a few more months and she moved up to a belt level that includes sparing. She had been going for about a year without a break in this go round and the plan was to take a break for a few months after her belt testing but we still had a couple weeks left in what we had paid for so we kept going and she had to do sparing. She was scared and she was by far the smallest of the orange belts but the first time she did it, she loved it and was hooked again so we kept going for a couple more months before finally taking a break.
 
WSU MUP Student said:
My oldest took tkd for a bit and she loved the forms and was really good at memorizing the steps right away after doing it just once or twice. When we went to her first competition she did well and earned a medal on forms and watched some kids do sparing and she was adamant that she NEVER wanted to try that.

We kept at the tkd for a few more months and she moved up to a belt level that includes sparing. She had been going for about a year without a break in this go round and the plan was to take a break for a few months after her belt testing but we still had a couple weeks left in what we had paid for so we kept going and she had to do sparing. She was scared and she was by far the smallest of the orange belts but the first time she did it, she loved it and was hooked again so we kept going for a couple more months before finally taking a break.
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There was sparing at the tournament and she did it. She would throw good kicks. She just wouldn't connect with them.
 
My oldest son and my fiance's boys all take kung fu, and I enjoy watching my sometimes-hesitant / self-doubting ten year old having fun doing sumo wrestling and sparring at the tournaments. I also really like watching the 4-6 year olds doing "animal" forms. They are adorable.
 
mendelman said:
Actually...in this instance the correct terminology is 'adorbs'.

As in - I also really like watching the 4-6 year olds doing "animal" forms. They are adorbs.
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*not going to say it
*not going to say it
*not going to say it


You are right, they are totes adorbs!!

*Ugh slaps forehead
 
Generally RT helps Mini with her homework. She's out of town this week so it's been on me. She's in 1st grade this year and the homework is twice as much as it used to be and it's also way more advanced. Last night she had an entire worksheet of subtraction problems that required borrowing. After doing the first few with her she did the rest on her own and then I gave her the calculator to double check her work. She also had spelling words to write and a book to read. Tonight is Round 1 spelling sentences, reading textbook chapter + questions answered, another math worksheet, and another book to read if she (or I) haven't had a meltdown at that point.

I really dislike the long weekend and vacation break special projects which are as much work for me as they are for her.
 
kjel said:
Generally RT helps Mini with her homework. She's out of town this week so it's been on me. She's in 1st grade this year and the homework is twice as much as it used to be and it's also way more advanced. Last night she had an entire worksheet of subtraction problems that required borrowing. After doing the first few with her she did the rest on her own and then I gave her the calculator to double check her work. She also had spelling words to write and a book to read. Tonight is Round 1 spelling sentences, reading textbook chapter + questions answered, another math worksheet, and another book to read if she (or I) haven't had a meltdown at that point.

I really dislike the long weekend and vacation break special projects which are as much work for me as they are for her.
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I told my daughters principal,- nun, that if I ever thought homework was excessive, I’d excuse her from doing and and the teachers could deal with me.
 
kjel said:
Generally RT helps Mini with her homework. She's out of town this week so it's been on me. She's in 1st grade this year and the homework is twice as much as it used to be and it's also way more advanced. Last night she had an entire worksheet of subtraction problems that required borrowing. After doing the first few with her she did the rest on her own and then I gave her the calculator to double check her work. She also had spelling words to write and a book to read. Tonight is Round 1 spelling sentences, reading textbook chapter + questions answered, another math worksheet, and another book to read if she (or I) haven't had a meltdown at that point.

I really dislike the long weekend and vacation break special projects which are as much work for me as they are for her.
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is this AP 1st grade? that's some serious learning - and stressing going on.

I feel for ya! now go out and play!
 
Congrats! Hope you have the money to pay for it all. Oh wait, that's the father of the bride. Lucky you!


I'm in the middle of the spectrum. Just got my wife to leave the kids at home for a few hours so we could go to the symphony. She survived it.
 
DVD said:
Congrats! Hope you have the money to pay for it all. Oh wait, that's the father of the bride. Lucky you!


I'm in the middle of the spectrum. Just got my wife to leave the kids at home for a few hours so we could go to the symphony. She survived it.
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But did the kids?
 
Mrs. P was looking for a particular shirt to wear Saturday and couldn't find it. She went into The Girl's closet and there it was...along with 6 or 7 others and 3 pairs of shoes. She gathered them and moved them back into her own closet.

Sunday morning The Girl walked back into Mrs. P's closet and picked up a pair of sandals and another shirt.

I just watched and said nothing. There is no way I'm getting in the middle of this one.
 
So my son advised me (while shouting) a short while ago that "I don't love him" and "that I hate him". My offense? Forcing him to go to school while he was claiming to be sick (a migraine). He's missed 9 days so far this school year - only 3 of them legit in my opinion. So yes, I am a bad parent.

 
Maister said:
So my son advised me (while shouting) a short while ago that "I don't love him" and "that I hate him". My offense? Forcing him to go to school while he was claiming to be sick (a migraine). He's missed 9 days so far this school year - only 3 of them legit in my opinion. So yes, I am a bad parent.
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Like I tell mine, unless you are vomiting, have diarrhea, or a fever you are going to school. In our district if you miss 10 days you don't get promoted to the next grade (doctor's notes are the only accepted excused absences).

She was about 10 minutes late a few weeks ago because she was being an extreme pill in the morning. When we got to the school I had to walk her in so she could get a tardy slip. The attendance clerk asked her why she was late and she said, "I just couldn't get it together this morning." The clerk stifled a laugh, said she understood, and wrote "traffic" on the tardy slip.
 
I found out this morning that it's my fault that I was asleep at 11:21 pm when The Girl sent me a text to put her clothes in the dryer.

Then when I saw said text at 6:40 am this morning and put the clothes in the dryer, it was a catastrophe because the leggings she wanted to wear today weren't dry (not that she has 3 or 4 other pairs of black leggings).

Oh the trails and tribulations of the father of a 16 yo girl.
 
Planit said:
I found out this morning that it's my fault that I was asleep at 11:21 pm when The Girl sent me a text to put her clothes in the dryer.

Then when I saw said text at 6:40 am this morning and put the clothes in the dryer, it was a catastrophe because the leggings she wanted to wear today weren't dry (not that she has 3 or 4 other pairs of black leggings).

Oh the trails and tribulations of the father of a 16 yo girl.
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When my daughter was in third grade, she berated me because a skirt she wanted to wear wasn’t clean, even though the hamper was empty. When she pulled down her blankets, I saw that she had been sleeping on top of the skirt. That afternoon, she learned to do her own laundry, and became responsible for her own laundry service.
 
Planit said:
I found out this morning that it's my fault that I was asleep at 11:21 pm when The Girl sent me a text to put her clothes in the dryer.
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Was she also in the house when she sent this text? This is an important detail.

Regardless, if the child thought she was 'unhappy' now, wait till I count to 5.
 
mendelman said:
Was she also in the house when she sent this text? This is an important detail.

Regardless, if the child thought she was 'unhappy' now, wait till I count to 5.
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Yes she was, in her bedroom with phone in hand.

There was light discussion this morning and will certainly be a more in depth conversation about it this evening.

Like KMS's daughter, she has been responsible for doing her laundry since middle school.

I had brothers. God is continually laughing at me because he gave us a very bright girl.
 
I was helping our 6-year-old foster daughter get dressed yesterday. She was seeing her mom, so she wanted to wear one of her new dresses I had recently gotten for her. But it was REALLY cold in the morning, so she asked if she had a pair of pants she could wear under them. I asked if she wanted to wear her grey leggings, and she said, "Okay." I helped her get her grey leggings on, and proceeded to start getting her socks on. She started kicking and whining at that moment about how she hated wearing pants under dresses. I told her she could take them off and that it was her idea to put them on. And she sat there and argued with me that I made her and it was my fault.
 
Planit said:
I found out this morning that it's my fault that I was asleep at 11:21 pm when The Girl sent me a text to put her clothes in the dryer.

Then when I saw said text at 6:40 am this morning and put the clothes in the dryer, it was a catastrophe because the leggings she wanted to wear today weren't dry (not that she has 3 or 4 other pairs of black leggings).

Oh the trails and tribulations of the father of a 16 yo girl.
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It gets better but it might be a couple of years.

kms said:
When my daughter was in third grade, she berated me because a skirt she wanted to wear wasn’t clean, even though the hamper was empty. When she pulled down her blankets, I saw that she had been sleeping on top of the skirt. That afternoon, she learned to do her own laundry, and became responsible for her own laundry service.
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RT started doing laundry around the same age. She wanted to change her clothes after she got home from school and I had told her she could do so but I was only washing her clothes once a week so if she ran out she'd have to wear something over. She said "fine, show me how to use the machine!".
 
I will never again criticize people in a serious relationship, newly married and people who have kids about gaining weight. Both my eating habits and gym time have changed and it shows.:oops::r::yell:
 
dandy_warhol said:
Do kids play outside with neighborhood kids anymore? Or is that a thing of the past?
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An excellent question, dandy. And one that has at times vexed me with regard to Junior over the years. I've made intentional efforts to promote opportunities for my son to be able to experience life growing up as a “free-range child” in the very same neighborhood I grew up in. Because I grew up here and I know intimately what the physical and social environment was like 40+ years ago, I am all that more acutely aware of any changes that have happened. It is still possible to be a free range kid and drink from the garden hose While playing hide and seek, tag, whiffle ball, shoot baskets or other outdoor games at various friends’ houses, but the prevalence of these childhood outdoor activities has declined measurably, almost to the point that this represents the exception rather than the rule. Kids still play at each others houses, but more often than not it seems these days to play video games indoors, or record and post juvenile behavior on social media.

Most of the changes, however, can be attributed to the parents. We got the strong impression, particularly with parents in their 20’s, that in some folks’ eyes “free range kids”’ is nothing more than a euphemism for “neglectful parents.” Nothing could, of course, be farther from the truth, but based on multiple comments that’s the impression I get. “Don’t you worry about where your child is?” we would sometimes hear. Not really, we said he could play at Charlie’s house for an hour and he’s supposed to be home by 2:00. Charlie is welcome to play any time in our back yard with Junior’s if he’s available – after all, that’s the Childhood Social Contract. Your kid might want to call first to make sure he’s home just like Junior did. Yes, I’m aware that when a group of kids get together they sometimes relocate/rotate to other kids’ houses without prior notice; they are kids after all. One time when my son was maybe in 3rd grade he was walking home from a friend’s house that lived several blocks away when it started sprinkling. I got a concerned phone call from some parents of one of Junior’s friends who happened to be driving by when they saw him. This lady sounded absolutely appalled, “your son is walking along the street IN THE RAIN. Would you like us to drive him (one block) to your place?” No, it won’t kill him to get wet. Heaven know I got caught in the rain any number of times when I was his age. He won’t melt. I promise.
 
My kids are free range. We're in an apartment complex now, but they go out to play with whatever kids are out there on occasion. At the last house they would go down the street to play with other kids or kids would come over and they would play. Usually not video games. Granted they don't have the same level of go to the park to play tag or go for a bike ride or even the adventure of building a ramp out of whatever you find around the neighborhood as we did when we were kids, but at least they go out.
 
dandy_warhol said:
Do kids play outside with neighborhood kids anymore? Or is that a thing of the past?
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I think it depends on where you live. In my neighborhood it's definitely a no. There are two little girls that visit my neighbor across the street during summer and on weekends and Bella will play with them in the gated driveway. We don't have front yards in my neighborhood, just sidewalks and driveways. There is a playground at the end of my block but it's poorly maintained and drug dealers frequent the opposite corner. Even when I lived in a tight knit, super safe community in SC few kids free played outside. Many kids participate in a lot of scheduled activities so they simply aren't around to play and a lot of activities are electronic and indoors. Bella spends several weeks each summer in the Dominican Republic at her grandparents' house in the countryside. There are about 10 houses on their road, many with little kids and they are always outside running around and playing games. I am glad she has that opportunity to be free like we used to be growing up.

DVD said:
My kids are free range. We're in an apartment complex now, but they go out to play with whatever kids are out there on occasion. At the last house they would go down the street to play with other kids or kids would come over and they would play. Usually not video games. Granted they don't have the same level of go to the park to play tag or go for a bike ride or even the adventure of building a ramp out of whatever you find around the neighborhood as we did when we were kids, but at least they go out.
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I spend my childhood in Phoenix in the neighborhood at the NW corner of Thunderbird Rd & Black Canyon Hwy. We were ALWAYS outside running around, riding bikes, swimming, at the park, etc. We had free range between Black Canyon Highway & N 35th Ave and Thunderbird Rd & Acoma Drive.
 
The Girl played with a little girl next door at our old house. They had both front & back yards to run around.

At this house, we live next to a neighborhood park. She's gone over there to play.

It's funny watching people/groups in the park. Kids under 10/11 are there with at least one grownup, but over 12 years old I see groups of 2 to 8 kids walking down the street there and hangs out.
 
dandy_warhol said:
Do kids play outside with neighborhood kids anymore? Or is that a thing of the past?
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Mine did. I was at work all day and couldn’t expect them to sit in the house. They ran the neighborhood with their friends, playing ball or walking to McDonald’s or Cici’s.

I spend a lot of time in newer housing developments and they look like ghost towns. No one is outside.
 
kjel said:
I spend my childhood in Phoenix in the neighborhood at the NW corner of Thunderbird Rd & Black Canyon Hwy. We were ALWAYS outside running around, riding bikes, swimming, at the park, etc. We had free range between Black Canyon Highway & N 35th Ave and Thunderbird Rd & Acoma Drive.
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My hood was Greenway to Thunderbird and 51st to 59th Ave. In planner speak that's a section of land with arterial roads all around.
 
DVD said:
My hood was Greenway to Thunderbird and 51st to 59th Ave. In planner speak that's a section of land with arterial roads all around.
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Small world. My mom had a coworker that lived in that same area and I'd stay with them occasionally when she worked weekends. The kids went to Kachina Elementary.
 
I think part of the problem is there aren't a lot of kids in our neighborhood. There is the granddaughter of a neighbor who Itty Bitty has played with on occasion but this girl is about 1 year older and 100x more athletic and coordinated. There is also another girl who is less than friendly with less than friendly parents. Unfriendly-girl and granddaughter-girl like to play. One day Itty Bitty asked them if they wanted to come to our house to play and Unfriendly-girl's parents acted as if we suggested offering up their child in a satanic ritual. It was weird. Now I give them dirty looks.
 
Maister said:
One time when my son was maybe in 3rd grade he was walking home from a friend’s house that lived several blocks away when it started sprinkling. I got a concerned phone call from some parents of one of Junior’s friends who happened to be driving by when they saw him. This lady sounded absolutely appalled, “your son is walking along the street IN THE RAIN. Would you like us to drive him (one block) to your place?” No, it won’t kill him to get wet. Heaven know I got caught in the rain any number of times when I was his age. He won’t melt. I promise.
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Wow, this is crazy. Why do adults want to coddle kids so much? There are so many life skills to be learned if adults would just get out of the way.
 
dandy_warhol said:
But the perverts are everywhere!!!!! EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!
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In all seriousness, is this why adults are coddling children? I think Maister's post is very thought-provoking, and I think the adult's motivations in Maister's post come from a good place - the adult genuinely wanted to help his neighbor's kid out
 
kjel said:
Small world. My mom had a coworker that lived in that same area and I'd stay with them occasionally when she worked weekends. The kids went to Kachina Elementary.
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If you remember the names I might actually know them.


When it comes to kids I just let mine go free range and teach them to be aware of weirdos like Planit who are "thinking" about the children.
 
Wannaplan? said:
In all seriousness, is this why adults are coddling children? I think Maister's post is very thought-provoking, and I think the adult's motivations in Maister's post come from a good place - the adult genuinely wanted to help his neighbor's kid out
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I do think this is a big part of their motivation. Another part is some see their kids as precious little cherubs so shouldn't be exposed to any adversity.

One of the sad parts of Maister's post is just think about how much spontaneous fun these kids are missing out on. Getting soaked in the rain, splashing in puddles, studying worms...all awesome stuff.
 
dandy_warhol said:
One of the sad parts of Maister's post is just think about how much spontaneous fun these kids are missing out on. Getting soaked in the rain, splashing in puddles, studying worms...all awesome stuff.
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Not only experiencing spontaneous fun, but also missing out on developing critical decision making and social skills. Johnny's parents can drive him to the Little League ball diamond where he can learn how to play baseball in a safe, supervised environment with adult coaches and umpires. But if Johnny was getting a pickup game started in the vacant lot at the corner and ringing doorbells to see who can play and choosing teams from among the kids in the neighborhood, and providing their own 'officiating,' he'd be building many other life skills as well.
 
Maister said:
One time when my son was maybe in 3rd grade he was walking home from a friend’s house that lived several blocks away when it started sprinkling. I got a concerned phone call from some parents of one of Junior’s friends who happened to be driving by when they saw him. This lady sounded absolutely appalled, “your son is walking along the street IN THE RAIN. Would you like us to drive him (one block) to your place?” No, it won’t kill him to get wet. Heaven know I got caught in the rain any number of times when I was his age. He won’t melt. I promise.
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When we lived in SC we lived in a subdivision 1/2 mile from the elementary and middle school on the same street on the same side. Sidewalks the entire way and only driveways to walk across, no streets. I refused to drive or pick up RT from school unless there was a torrential downpour. A mom in the same subdivision ran into me at the store and said any time I needed someone to pick up or drop off RT she was happy to help because she saw her walking. I said no and you need to make your two walk to and from school as well, we live in a safe place, there are sidewalks, and they will be fine with the exercise and fresh air. Tell the kids to stop by my house at 8:15 and they can walk together. And they did, soon enough there were about 10 kids that walked together to and from school. We all were happy not to sit in the pick up or drop off line.
 
Yep, my kids walk to school. The new house will be about 1/2 mile from the school. They'll be walking.
 
I remember getting called into the kitchen for a "come to Jesus" discussion after my mom got off a phone call. It was late winter and I had spent the afternoon shooting baskets at the school across the street. I was dressed appropriately for the weather but eventually warmed up and took my sweatshirt off. Apparently the adult on the phone saw me in shirtsleeves and disapproved and decided it was her business to "rat me out". I don't really remember how the talk with my mother ended up, but I clearly do remember wondering why some adult would take it upon herself to meddle in my business. This was probably every bit of 50 years ago.

I do think parents today are saturated with news stories of horrible things happening to children and many over-react and err on the side of caution. But I think overly-attentive parenting isn't anything new, really.
 
Gedunker said:
...overly-attentive parenting isn't anything new...
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Some parents are just dumb, really. Take my mom for example. She was married to my dad, a man who enjoyed reloading shotgun shells in the basement so he could save a little for his trap shooting bouts at the local gun club. There was gunpowder in that basement, and don't tell me my mom didn't know. I've seen photos of my mom with my dad as newlyweds posing with their shotguns. She must know those things go boom. So, one day her boy toddlers grow up to be know-it-all, we-think-we-are-men teenagers. These teenagers have seen the gunpowder and they know the substance makes a fantastic noise when ignited. Dad works, and mom stays at home, that's the situation. The teenage boys pack the gunpowder into little orbs wrapped in black electrical tape. Blew up about a dozen of those things, good thing we never lost fingers.
 
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