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NEVERENDING ♾️ The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

WSU MUP Student said:
My daughter was great about staying in bed and just yelling occasionally if she needed something until I made the mistake a few weeks back of informing her that she can get up and take herself to the bathroom if she needs to. Now she gets up for EVERYTHING!

I need to use the potty! (for the 8th time in an hour)
The ice in my water cup melted!
I didn't see the moon tonight! :r:
My pillow needs fluffing!
My pajamas are itchy!
I wanted to give you this book!

And my recent favorite from Saturday night:
I wanted to look at the party! - We had gone to a birthday party at the neighbor's house behind ours and after bedtime our daughter got out of bed to come out to the living room and look out the back door as if she missed being at the party.

Earlier this week we instituted a cost system: emergency or not, each time she comes out of the bedroom or calls us in there it will cost a stuffed animal from her bedroom that she can earn back the next day. So far it's actually seemed to work a little bit.
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Mine likes to use pain as an excuse. My knee hurts, my foot hurts, right here hurts... She also likes the I feel sick excuse. We did the same cost system, but we're not that good at collecting our tolls.
 
Three boys - 5, 6 & 7.

We generally start it around 7pm and try to be done with the routine and in bed by 7:30p, but it usually ends up being about 7:45-8p.

The 6 and 7 year old are good with going to sleep right away, but the 5 year old is still in a "I can not go to sleep" routine for about another 30-60 minutes.

And he actually uses 'can not'. It is funny to hear a 5 year old avoid contractions. :D
 
Maister said:
Quick survey: what are your kids bedtimes and what's their age?
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Two boys, turning 8 and 10 within the next 2 months.

Summer: Flexible bedtimes, but typically in bed by 9PM. They're usually up by around 7AM, but keep to their rooms playing until mom and dad get up...or until one knocks on our bedroom door complaining that they're hungry. ;)

School year: 8 year old in bed by 8PM, 10 year old in bed by 8:30 (though it is not unusual for him to want to go to bed before his brother occasionally). Up by 6:30 to get ready for school.
 
2.5 years old. Usually goes to bed at 8:30. Doesn't like to nap very much these days.
 
16 days old, goes to sleep whenever the hell she wants, poops whenever the hell she wants, eats whenever the hell she wants. Damn cute, though. :)
 
Daughter = 8 (9 in November). Goes to bed at 9pm. We try for earlier, but we're still weaning off the summer light.

Son = 13 (14 in a week). Goes to bed at 9:30pm. Sometimes earlier. He's a growing boy and likes him some sleep!
 
Big blowup last night. It was time for my son to do his reading. He knew it was time and still he wanted more time to play computer games. 30 more minutes, NO. Fifteen more minutes. NO. Ten more minutes. NO. "You're being unreasonable!" DO YOUR READING! "Not fair!" DO YOUR READING! "I won't!" DO YOUR READING! "No." DO YOUR READING. LAST WARNING. "No."

So I went to the garage and flipped the circuit breaker. After a few minutes of darkness and no electricity, he agreed to do his reading.

Maybe I should spend that college fund on military school now and let him pay his own damn way through college. :-@
 
otterpop said:
Big blowup last night. It was time for my son to do his reading. He knew it was time and still he wanted more time to play computer games. 30 more minutes, NO. Fifteen more minutes. NO. Ten more minutes. NO. "You're being unreasonable!" DO YOUR READING! "Not fair!" DO YOUR READING! "I won't!" DO YOUR READING! "No." DO YOUR READING. LAST WARNING. "No."

So I went to the garage and flipped the circuit breaker. After a few minutes of darkness and no electricity, he agreed to do his reading.

Maybe I should spend that college fund on military school now and let him pay his own damn way through college. :-@
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You did good. The computer might need to take a hiatus for a while or you can set the router to restrict access to specific sites between such and such time.

I am a firm believer in making kids pay a portion of their college tuition. RT was barely skating by during her freshman year, she had way too much free time, and didn't care about my dime that was paying for it. I made her repay me for the courses she got a C in and in the subsequent years she's had to pay about 20% of the tuition cost from her own pocket. All As and one A- since she started paying a portion of it herself. She lives at home and does not pay for rent, utilities, or food...only car insurance. I asked her about the turnaround and she said that now that she understands how many hours she has to work to cover her portion she's not wasting time or money to do mediocre or fail a class. We cover 60%, her scholarship covers 20%, and she pays the other 20%.
 
otterpop said:
Big blowup last night. It was time for my son to do his reading. He knew it was time and still he wanted more time to play computer games. 30 more minutes, NO. Fifteen more minutes. NO. Ten more minutes. NO. "You're being unreasonable!" DO YOUR READING! "Not fair!" DO YOUR READING! "I won't!" DO YOUR READING! "No." DO YOUR READING. LAST WARNING. "No."

So I went to the garage and flipped the circuit breaker. After a few minutes of darkness and no electricity, he agreed to do his reading.

Maybe I should spend that college fund on military school now and let him pay his own damn way through college. :-@
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Good call, I would have removed the computer itself for a few days. I'm still lucky to have kids I can physically pick up and move to where I want them so I don't get that much of an argument, yet.

kjel said:
You did good. The computer might need to take a hiatus for a while or you can set the router to restrict access to specific sites between such and such time.

I am a firm believer in making kids pay a portion of their college tuition. RT was barely skating by during her freshman year, she had way too much free time, and didn't care about my dime that was paying for it. I made her repay me for the courses she got a C in and in the subsequent years she's had to pay about 20% of the tuition cost from her own pocket. All As and one A- since she started paying a portion of it herself. She lives at home and does not pay for rent, utilities, or food...only car insurance. I asked her about the turnaround and she said that now that she understands how many hours she has to work to cover her portion she's not wasting time or money to do mediocre or fail a class. We cover 60%, her scholarship covers 20%, and she pays the other 20%.
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I expect my kids will have to pay some of the college. I doubt I can afford it myself. I think in part I was lucky when I was younger. I knew I had to pay my own way and I knew at 18 I couldn't make the grades. I went later when I was ready.
 
dvdneal said:
I expect my kids will have to pay some of the college. I doubt I can afford it myself. I think in part I was lucky when I was younger. I knew I had to pay my own way and I knew at 18 I couldn't make the grades. I went later when I was ready.
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Maturity helps a lot. Due to my own life decisions, I did not have the opportunity to go to college when I was 18. I started my bachelor's degree when I was 26 thanks to a tuition reimbursement program and a supportive boss.
 
The Girl went off for the first time to middle school today. Mrs. P was weeping this morning. Even the bus driver said "I can't believe she's already in middle school."

The Girl was excited/nervous but said it's all good. She said, "I have a 7th grader friend & an 8th grader friend that want to sit with me on the bus & that's a big deal when you're a 6th grader dad!" I was told. Another chapter begins.
 
mendelman said:
Three boys - 5, 6 & 7.

We generally start it around 7pm and try to be done with the routine and in bed by 7:30p, but it usually ends up being about 7:45-8p.

The 6 and 7 year old are good with going to sleep right away, but the 5 year old is still in a "I can not go to sleep" routine for about another 30-60 minutes.

And he actually uses 'can not'. It is funny to hear a 5 year old avoid contractions. :D
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I blame it on today's kids not being stuck watching only ABC and Schoolhouse Rock. Maybe Disney needs to show more of those and less of the crap they show on all those Disney and ABC Family networks. (Yeah just spent two weeks at sis's house in Laguna Beach, CA babysitting. The kids would rather watch the lamest trash in the world than go with their uncle exploring, so what did the urban planner/geography uncle do for vacation? Watch terrible TV! with the promise that this show is almost over, well the TV never went off, dammed kids!).
 
DetroitPlanner said:
I blame it on today's kids not being stuck watching only ABC and Schoolhouse Rock. Maybe Disney needs to show more of those and less of the crap they show on all those Disney and ABC Family networks. (Yeah just spent two weeks at sis's house in Laguna Beach, CA babysitting. The kids would rather watch the lamest trash in the world than go with their uncle exploring, so what did the urban planner/geography uncle do for vacation? Watch terrible TV! with the promise that this show is almost over, well the TV never went off, dammed kids!).
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Except in our house the best they can count on is PBS cartoons (which end at 6p and are actually pretty great and educational) or I Dream of Genie on MeTV, because we don't have cable. Our TV is over-the-air. Though the boys know how to load and run the DVD player now, so cutting them off at bedtime is hit or miss. Though, at least with the DVD player, you stop it and the show can be restarted at the same place the next day.

That would suck to be stuck indoors in Laguna Beach, CA. I would be chomping at the bit to get out and explore the area/oceanfront. So sad for those kids.....:-|
 
dvdneal said:
I'm still lucky to have kids I can physically pick up and move to where I want them so I don't get that much of an argument, yet.
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I miss those days. Nothing my son hated more than when he would have a meltdown in a public place and I would pick him up and carry him away. It wasn't that he feared a lecture in a more private place or corporal punishment. It was just suffering the indignity of being treated like a sack of flour. That alone was usually enough to calm him down and let his temper cool.

My son used to be very easy to parent. He and I used to talk a lot. When we had a problem we could talk it out. It took a little longer but it worked.

Now I have a teenager. He doesn't want to talk. He flies off the handle at the slightest indication that he needs to correct his behavior. He is too big to pick up. Too stubborn to reason with. And frankly I am just tired of having the same arguments every damn day.

I grew up in a family that had little family strife. I disagreed with some of the things my parents decreed, but I didn't buck them. I did as I was told.

Now I live in a house with constant family strife. Obviously I wasn't paying enough attention to what my mom was doing to manage children. Wish she was still around to tell me what the hell I am doing wrong.
 
Good luck, I've always been told the easier they are when they're young the harder they are as teens.
 
mendelman said:
Except in our house the best they can count on is PBS cartoons (which end at 6p and are actually pretty great and educational) or I Dream of Genie on MeTV, because we don't have cable. Our TV is over-the-air. Though the boys know how to load and run the DVD player now, so cutting them off at bedtime is hit or miss. Though, at least with the DVD player, you stop it and the show can be restarted at the same place the next day.

That would suck to be stuck indoors in Laguna Beach, CA. I would be chomping at the bit to get out and explore the area/oceanfront. So sad for those kids.....:-|
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Never drank the cable Kool-Aid either. Detroit never had it when I was a kid, so I don't miss what I never had. Seems like a lot of $$$ for more crappy TV. I guess they don't know any better, but it is mindless poorly written trash with no educational content. They don't see why two hours of driving on the PCH or hitting San Juan Capistrano to check out the history/culture is any big deal. Was in Staples and Office Depot 4 times to pick out school supplies though! :-@
 
We don’t have cable either. And I never did as a kid. I thought my parents were just being luddites or unduly cruel, but turns out they were right – it IS a waste of time and money!

TV viewing seems almost innocent to me now. With an almost 14 year old and an almost 9 year old, the proliferation of online gaming, forums, etc. are our foes of late (cause we also don’t have any game stations or wii’s or what-have-yous). Its not all bad and some of it just reflects how out of touch I am with the realities of young people (though don’t get me started on “Animal Jam”). But for me the key is BALANCE. These activities should not dominate your personal time. They should be complimented with going outside and being active, making art/music, interacting with your out-of-touch parents or friends and doing chores like the good indentured servants they are.

Otterpop, I think what you described is typical adolescent behavior. That or you have been over to my house an awful lot lately. The moodiness, the flying off the handle at things that I can’t for the life of me figure out the problem with – its all part of the package it seems. Not that I am any expert or am weathering it any better than you. I just have a teenager too and watched in horror while my brother survived his. “Temporary insanity” was how one parent described adolescence. I like that description because it means I don’t need to sweat the small stuff and I know that its actually a tunnel we are going through and not just a deep, dark hole into the center of hell where I will suffer the emotional abuse of my son for all eternity.
 
Teenage years: when the aliens come down from outer space and take up residence inside your formerly agreeable/happy kid and make them into an unpleasant creature that you cannot have even the simplest conversation without it turning into a drama. Years 14-17 were the hardest. My typical saying, "I love you, but I don't really like you right now."

She turned 21 today 8-!
 
kjel said:
She turned 21 today 8-!
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And only ~12 years till your next teenage girl. :-c

I don't have any girls, but will have three teenage boys at one time, so I should pay attention to what's happening in the otterpop house. :-|
 
otterpop said:
Now I have a teenager. He doesn't want to talk. He flies off the handle at the slightest indication that he needs to correct his behavior. He is too big to pick up. Too stubborn to reason with. And frankly I am just tired of having the same arguments every damn day. .
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This is called growing up. All these battles is your son taking the reins for his own life. Things maybe felt calm to you when you were a kid, but your mom probably felt much like you do now.

For all parents of adolescent sons, I recommend this book:

 
My wife and I are both very agreeable people who don't like conflict. I don't think we've ever raised our voices at each other in the nearly 3 years we've been together. I'm seriously wondering how it's going to be when we have a toddler, and then a teenage girl with raging hormones, etc. I'm hoping she gets our personalities from both of our genes and just turns out to be a big dork and so is too busy getting into books and science experiments to care about typical lame teenage stuff.
 
Rygor said:
My wife and I are both very agreeable people who don't like conflict. I don't think we've ever raised our voices at each other in the nearly 3 years we've been together. I'm seriously wondering how it's going to be when we have a toddler, and then a teenage girl with raging hormones, etc. I'm hoping she gets our personalities from both of our genes and just turns out to be a big dork and so is too busy getting into books and science experiments to care about typical lame teenage stuff.
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I truly hope all your hopes and dreams for this comes true. In the mean time, enjoy the ride 'cause it'll be a rollercoaster.
 
Rygor said:
My wife and I are both very agreeable people who don't like conflict. I don't think we've ever raised our voices at each other in the nearly 3 years we've been together. I'm seriously wondering how it's going to be when we have a toddler, and then a teenage girl with raging hormones, etc. I'm hoping she gets our personalities from both of our genes and just turns out to be a big dork and so is too busy getting into books and science experiments to care about typical lame teenage stuff.
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You realize you may have just cursed yourself with a teenage girl with raging hormones. Good luck! I'll be there in about 5 years.
 
A golfing buddy from our group passed away last Friday after a battle with cancer. He was 48 & has 2 kids, 11 & 7. The 11 year old is in The Girl's class and have been in the same class several years prior. They also see each other at the pool too.

Our golfing group were told Saturday morning of his passing. When I got home, I sat down to tell The Girl. I started out saying "You know _____'s dad has been very sick." She immediately got up and said "I know he's gone." and walked away. I found out later that another mom had called the house with the news.

Mrs. P said The Girl didn't want to talk about it. The only other time she's dealt with someone dying was a grandparent of a friend which she came to me a few days later and said she was sad about it. She seems to be handling it well but she does internalize things sometimes. I'm interested to see what happens when ____________ comes back to school next week.
 
Every kid seems to handle it different. When my MIL died my 4 yo wanted to keep talking about all the things they used to do. My 7 yo didn't want to talk about it at all. After about 6 months she would start including Grams in pictures or things she would write down that she liked. Now, a year later, she has no problem talking about Grams, but she doesn't bring it up much.
 
dvdneal said:
Every kid seems to handle it different. When my MIL died my 4 yo wanted to keep talking about all the things they used to do. My 7 yo didn't want to talk about it at all. After about 6 months she would start including Grams in pictures or things she would write down that she liked. Now, a year later, she has no problem talking about Grams, but she doesn't bring it up much.
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RT was the same way when my mom passed in 2003. She was 9 and very close to her as we lived together as an intergenerational household for 7 of her 9 years. She had known she had been sick, had surgery, and was recuperating slowly but nobody expected her to pass away. She was very quiet, tears welled up in her eyes, and she said she wanted to be alone in her room for a while. I just hugged her tight, told her I loved her, that I understood how she was feeling, and to find me when she wanted to talk. It was heartbreaking, but you have to give them space to come to terms with it on their own.
 
I cut my thumb yesterday evening and the only choices for bandages that I had were Muppets, Dora, or princesses. I went with Muppets.

Am I officially the father of a preschooler now?
 
Yup, and it's better when you have all girls. I get choices like Dora, Princess, and Monster High (one of the kids is a little older). My best days are when they pick the bright colored band-aids with no characters on them.
 
About 3 weeks ago, The Girl had a friend who father passed away. I posted about it in this thread earlier.

Yesterday we get home from an away soccer match (they lost a tough game 1-0) and she looks at her text messages. One of her very good friend's father passed away on Saturday evening. She was so upset and sad. She came to me on the sofa and just bawled. We just laid there for a while, I just held her in my arms. Poor kids - The Girl, the kid, that little group of friends.
 
I'm sorry for all of them. I always wish there was something magic I could say to make loss hurt less.
 
Planit, that's so sad. I'm sorry.

I remember crying to my dad when my friend's dad died. I'm glad you were there for your girl.
 
Oh great, again...

Friday night car accident in the community killed 2 boys - one of them is from our church. Youth group going together to the visitation. The last month has not been happy times.

http://www.hickoryrecord.com/news/t...cle_ff4ef974-4bf3-11e4-9b0c-001a4bcf6878.html

The Girl is doing good, but I got the feeling last night that it might be starting to have an impact on her, you know after 2 of her friends dads pass away and now this - well it is starting to affect me too. She was not friends with the boy, but knew who he was. Some students from the high school sent out messages to wear a certain color each day this week, reflecting each of the 5 kids favorite color. When she read that, she went straight to her closet to pick out the proper color shirt for each day this week. I really can't (& don't want to) type anymore about this...

Please Be Careful Out There!
 
That's an awful lot of sadness and tragedy in her young life. I wouldn't know what to say to her, and I'm sure you're doing what you can to make sure she feels secure and loved.
 
Parenting fail – don’t let your child install a game on your phone that involves feeding/cleaning/playing with a creature to get points, or else you’ll be setting reminders to yourself so that you don’t accidentally kill it while you’re at work.
 
terraplnr said:
Parenting fail – don’t let your child install a game on your phone that involves feeding/cleaning/playing with a creature to get points, or else you’ll be setting reminders to yourself so that you don’t accidentally kill it while you’re at work.
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Almost as bad, don't let them put games that take care of the baby and turn on the reminders. I get creepy baby noises at random times until I figured out how to turn that off.
 
Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays my daughter has school and has to be up by about 8:00 a.m. to get ready and she is ALWAYS needs us to wake her up and then she's dragging and a super slowpoke.

Every other morning she is up by about 7:30 a.m. and absolutely full of energy and running around.

She's 4. I cannot wait until she's a teen. :not:


FWIW, there is a little girl across the street who is about 5 and a half and when I get home from running in the mornings by about 6:30 a.m. I can see their TV on in the window with cartoons playing. I am not looking forward to those days.
 
The Girl was watching videos while getting ready. It took her 3 times as long and stressful with rushing to leave.

iPad is now off until she is completely ready to walk out the door. She'll sit on the front porch and watch videos now until the school bus comes. It's surprising to her she now has time to watch them now.

This just goes to show you can't tell them a thing. They have to experience it in order to learn.
 
dvdneal said:
Yup, and it's better when you have all girls. I get choices like Dora, Princess, and Monster High (one of the kids is a little older). My best days are when they pick the bright colored band-aids with no characters on them.
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Having boys is pretty good too. How else would a grown man get to cover his boo-boo with a cool Spiderman or Teenage Ninja Turtles Band-Aid. I just know the other guys at work are so jealous.
 
otterpop said:
Having boys is pretty good too. How else would a grown man get to cover his boo-boo with a cool Spiderman or Teenage Ninja Turtles Band-Aid. I just know the other guys at work are so jealous.
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I wish! I get a choice between Disney princesses or Monster High. I usually go with the Monster High because it's black and the characters might make people think I'm a bit goth. Although I do go through some good phases like when my older girl liked Captain America or the younger liked Minions. My favorite so far was the neon color pack. It's good to have variety.

I'm lucky, my kids wake up easy, eat a little breakfast and watch country music videos. Then I go to work and mom has to yell, threaten, turn off the TV, put up with the crying to get them out the door for school.
 
Planit said:
The Girl was watching videos while getting ready. It took her 3 times as long and stressful with rushing to leave.
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This is a never ending struggle with my 9 year old daughter. She is used to leaving for school at around 8:15am. This year, it is now 7:15 since she goes to a charter school specializing in fine arts, and since she is going with me to work I need to go in early now. It seems it is impossible for her to get dressed, make a better, and eat breakfast in a 45 minute time span :-@. It is a struggle just to even make sure she is dressed. Contrast that to her 4 year old brother who will have a bed made and dressed in less than 5 minutes so he can watch Paw Patrol or whatever other show is to his liking before school. Freaking irritating as hell..
 
Has this ever happened to you ?

parenting.jpg
 
Yes, it was a Boxcar Children diorama, but we had enough stuff to slap something together.
 
No my kid is perfect and tells us about the assignments before the teacher gives them out - NOT!

Last week @ 9:00 pm the night before - I need to dress like a candy cane tomorrow.
 
Planit said:
No my kid is perfect and tells us about the assignments before the teacher gives them out - NOT!

Last week @ 9:00 pm the night before - I need to dress like a candy cane tomorrow.
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My son's teacher doesn't believe in homework.



On a side note, do you get your kid's teacher a Christmas Present?
 
michaelskis said:
My son's teacher doesn't believe in homework.


On a side note, do you get your kid's teacher a Christmas Present?
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We usually do something really small. Bottle of lotion, maybe a gift card to eat out. Not sure what we're doing this year.
 
ursus said:
We usually do something really small. Bottle of lotion, maybe a gift card to eat out. Not sure what we're doing this year.
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Ditto. One teacher mentioned to the kids she likes socks, so we might get her a nice pair of warm fuzzy socks.

michaelskis said:
Thinking about a bottle of Jack Daniels. She has to deal with my kid... ;)
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If yours is anything like mine you better make it two.
 
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