Backstory: My ex lets my daughter (9 years old) get away with pretty much anything she wants and so she can be mouthy and disrespectful to him and his family. He doesn't discipline her, hardly ever. With him, it's always someone else's fault and he is basically teaching her this same attitude. She's a little melodramatic and has temper tantrums on occasion at my house (in my opinion typical girl drama) but hasn't had problems with me or at daycare or school really. The ex and I have joint custody, with me 60% of the time, but I worry so much about how her behavior at his house will affect her in the long run. It borderline consumes me, though I try to not reflect that to her at all.
So then last night she was VERY mouthy to her grandmother (my ex-husbands mom) right before I picked her up from school so I grounded her last night and tonight. A half hour later she says she wants to die. I stay calm and just kind of ignore her because she's still coming off the attitude from her grandmother. Later on before bed I ask her if she meant what she said and she said sometimes. :-c I ask her why she feels that way and she says because she's always in trouble. And I tried to reason with her (as much as you can at 9) that she isn't "always" in trouble, but only when her behavior or attitude warrants it. She says also because her (kind of) step brother called her a brat, and because we won't play games with her sometimes. I kind of feel she was stretching to come up with reasons and being melodramatic, but how do you know?! I don't want to ignore warning signs, but I also don't want to freak out and *make* it a problem if it isn't. How are you supposed to know what's normal hormonal girl crap and what's not, when at almost 40 I have a hard time dealing with it sometimes?
I practically cried myself to sleep last night. I already worry about her attitude and behavior, and now I worry that I should be worried about her mental health. Parenting is seriously the hardest thing out there, so much pressure to not screw everything up.