NEVERENDING ♾️ The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

[southsideamy]

I need some advice on this delimma - I want to make sure I'm not just seeing it through my own "have three kids, it's my life" viewpoint.

We've been invited, by engraved invitation, to a 60th birthdayparty/40th Wedding anniversary party for one of my closest friends and God parents of my children. The hosts are the children of said friend and the party is at their house. The party is 4 hours away by car and requires an overnight stay. Invitation gives explicit instructions on RSVP and also how/where to park. I RSVP-ed about six weeks ago.

I e-mailed the host of the party who is the daughter of my close friend to ask about kennels last night (she's a veterinarian) so that we can kennel our dog during the party. She e-mails back with kennel suggestion and then says "by the way, this is an adult only party."

It's 6 days before the party and I'm just now being told it's adult only!! And I'm really upset because there's no way for us to travel for four hours, arrange for babysitting, and go to the party. No mention on the invitation that it's an adult party. No mention of babysitting suggestions (but they do mention recommendations for acommodations). The party starts at 5:30PM, which isn't exactly a cocktail hour and couldn't possibly give me the impression that children aren't invited.

Am I right to feel a little miffed here? Or am I over-reacting because I have kids and can't see the other persepctive? Did I miss some sort of socially proper cue?

 

[Maister]

She e-mails back with kennel suggestion and then says "by the way, this is an adult only party."
......Am I right to feel a little miffed here? Or am I over-reacting because I have kids and can't see the other persepctive? Did I miss some sort of socially proper cue?

I don't think you missed any cues. Heck, I'd be miffed if someone sprung that on me last minute like that.

 

[Veloise]

I need some advice on this dilemma ... engraved invitation, to a 60th birthdayparty/40th Wedding anniversary party for one of my closest friends and God parents of my children. ... 4 hours away by car and requires an overnight stay. Invitation gives explicit instructions on RSVP and also how/where to park. I RSVP-ed about six weeks ago.

I e-mailed the host of the party..."by the way, this is an adult only party."

It's 6 days before the party and I'm just now being told it's adult only!! ...

Sounds like they messed up in planning the invites. Probably due to several guests RSVPing with, "oh, and little Suzie is so looking forward to it."

E-mail her back and ask for a lead on a sitter. I have heard of "adults only" weddings where they provide a sitter, videos, and pizza for all the youngsters. Probably too late to implement that here, but perhaps she can steer you towards a sitter and you can then offer that person to all the other parents who were blindsided. (Um, you might want to revise that wording.)

HTH

 

[Salmissra]

I need some advice on this delimma - *snip*
I e-mailed the host of the party who is the daughter of my close friend to ask about kennels last night (she's a veterinarian) so that we can kennel our dog during the party. She e-mails back with kennel suggestion and then says "by the way, this is an adult only party."
It's 6 days before the party and I'm just now being told it's adult only!! And I'm really upset because there's no way for us to travel for four hours, arrange for babysitting, and go to the party. No mention on the invitation that it's an adult party. No mention of babysitting suggestions (but they do mention recommendations for acommodations). The party starts at 5:30PM, which isn't exactly a cocktail hour and couldn't possibly give me the impression that children aren't invited.
Am I right to feel a little miffed here? Or am I over-reacting because I have kids and can't see the other persepctive? Did I miss some sort of socially proper cue?

I think you're right to feel miffed. How about calling the host (or emailing) and confirming the adult-only? Then, if that is correct, explain that due to the invitation not stating that your kids weren't welcome, you will have to change your RSVP to no. Put it in her lap that she neglected to put that Very Important Information on the invitation.

There's no way that you are the only invitee with children. I bet when you point out that her invitations lack specific information, she'll either have to call all the people with kids to let them know, or change her plans. She should of thought of that way back when.

 

[Gedunker]

I hope I'm mistaken, but isn't the clue in the addressing of the invitation? Mr and Mrs Gedunker = no kids, but Mr and Mrs Gedunker and Family = kids, too?

Just wondering ....:-x

 

[wahday]

I e-mailed the host of the party who is the daughter of my close friend to ask about kennels last night (she's a veterinarian) so that we can kennel our dog during the party. She e-mails back with kennel suggestion and then says "by the way, this is an adult only party."

Sounds like someone's looking for some extra business

No, I don't think you missed anything. I think THEY missed something. Finding childcare for overnight to watch three kids in 6 days is not very realistic for anyone. I don't know what they were thinking. Sounds like you aren't really the demographic they were mainly concerned with in planning this event.

This has happened to us more than once, but not such a big event and so far away. A few times we have had to divide and conquer because we couldn't find anyone to watch the kids. Mostly, we just don't go to such parties. Not that we wouldn't like to. But, our parents are gone and our siblings live far away, so finding care for the kids is challenging. But, most of our friends have children and mostly just have parties that include them. Why, we were just at a rip roaring event Saturday - cocktail party and kid-friendly mania. It worked out great - the parents got dressed up and drank mango margaritas while the kids got their yay-yas out.

 

[ofos]

I e-mailed the host of the party who is the daughter of my close friend to ask about kennels last night (she's a veterinarian) so that we can kennel our dog during the party. She e-mails back with kennel suggestion and then says "by the way, this is an adult only party."

I'd be offended that she remembered my children when I asked about dogs and kennels. Not really, but I would let her know that you may not be the only one who didn't realize that this was an adults only invitation and suggest that it would be helpful if they could make some provision for them.

 

[Jen]

I hope I'm mistaken, but isn't the clue in the addressing of the invitation? Mr and Mrs Gedunker = no kids, but Mr and Mrs Gedunker and Family = kids, too?

Just wondering ....:-x

That's what I would say, though no fault if you assume your kids' godparents included them in the festivities.

I assumed my two little girls would be welcome at my parents 50th. Well yes and no. It was adults only, perfectly valid reasons* (to them), the other gkids were grown, mid school year, they paid for the small B&B, lack of babysitter for our night at the 4star rest., yada yada! So yeah, I left the kids at home with the husband and flew down there alone.

*I still have wtf moments over this sometimes.

 

[dandy_warhol]

I hope I'm mistaken, but isn't the clue in the addressing of the invitation? Mr and Mrs Gedunker = no kids, but Mr and Mrs Gedunker and Family = kids, too?

Just wondering ....:-x

I concurr. Then I probably would've called to check to see if I was right in assuming that the kids weren't involved.


Given the circumstances I don't think it would be inappropriate for you to contact the host and ask for some leads on sitters.

 

[zman]

Looong night with ZLad. He either seemed:
-Constantly hungry
-Irritable
-Sensed the stress in the house (including my stess level rising throughout the weekend)

Or a combination of all three. He finally got good sleep at 6am :-@....

 

[Maister]

GAAAH! Junior just got out of preschool, runs up to me, yells "Daddy" and proceeded to smear his paste/glitter encrusted hands on my face while laughing!:-o I still keep finding remnants of glitter on my face after lunch. I'm afraid to come up to the front counter and answer the public's questions.:-$

 

[southsideamy]

I hope I'm mistaken, but isn't the clue in the addressing of the invitation? Mr and Mrs Gedunker = no kids, but Mr and Mrs Gedunker and Family = kids, too?

Just wondering ....:-x

Yes, I had thought of that. But honestly, I opened up the envelope and threw it away. I didn't even look. It had never occured to me that it was an adult only party and that I would need to be concerned about it. (I always look closely at wedding invitations). This person has grandchildren my children's age...are they not going to be there too?

I suppose this was a Miss Manner's faux paux on my part. I will say, for the record, that lately I've seen adult parties started explicitly on the invitation and usually a card inside suggesting babysitting options (and I admit that doing those two things are not required by the rules of social ettiquette).

We're not going. I responded back to the daughter's e-mail by saying that I was surprised it was adult only and that it's too late for us to find babysitting accommodations, as it would be for most out of town guests, but thanks for invitation.

 

[ofos]

GAAAH! Junior just got out of preschool, runs up to me, yells "Daddy" and proceeded to smear his paste/glitter encrusted hands on my face while laughing!:-o I still keep finding remnants of glitter on my face after lunch. I'm afraid to come up to the front counter and answer the public's questions.:-$

The GlitterMaister at work. Is there a problem here?

 

[Maister]

[ot][rainbow]ofos, wherever did you find that fabulous looking young man?[/rainbow][/ot]

In the grand scheme of things glitter isn't that bad.
You know you're a parent when you miss an over-the-shoulder burp at lunch and go back to work unsuspecting.

 

[luckless pedestrian]

people know how tall my youngest is by where the goo stains are on my skirt/dress/pants...:-$

 

[Jen]

Yes, I had thought of that. But honestly, I opened up the envelope and threw it away. I didn't even look. It had never occured to me that it was an adult only party and that I would need to be concerned about it. (I always look closely at wedding invitations). This person has grandchildren my children's age...are they not going to be there too?

I suppose this was a Miss Manner's faux paux on my part. I will say, for the record, that lately I've seen adult parties started explicitly on the invitation and usually a card inside suggesting babysitting options (and I admit that doing those two things are not required by the rules of social ettiquette).

We're not going. I responded back to the daughter's e-mail by saying that I was surprised it was adult only and that it's too late for us to find babysitting accommodations, as it would be for most out of town guests, but thanks for invitation.

I've always wondered how does one find a random babysitter while on vacation outside of a family or friend, usually it's all the kids together with older designated to look after the youngers. Kidz n kennels ?

But to drag your family out of town only to leave your kids behind in a hotel room with somebody to go make social. I wouldn't do it. You did the right thing, cancel!

 

[otterpop]

GAAAH! Junior just got out of preschool, runs up to me, yells "Daddy" and proceeded to smear his paste/glitter encrusted hands on my face while laughing!:-o I still keep finding remnants of glitter on my face after lunch. I'm afraid to come up to the front counter and answer the public's questions.:-$

At least Ms. Maister didn't think you had spent your lunch hour at the local nudie bar and got glitter from a stripper's cleavage.

Or is that the backstory (Jr.) that you are going with to avoid trouble with the missus

 

[Maister]

At least Ms. Maister didn't think you had spent your lunch hour at the local nudie bar and got glitter from a stripper's cleavage.

Or is that the backstory (Jr.) that you are going with to avoid trouble with the missus

The glitter story is sure to play alot better with her than the motorboatin' story.

 

[JNA]

Hope none of the Cyburbian Parents are like the Heene's of Colorado (Balloon Boy) ? 8-!:-c:-o

 

[natski]

I concurr. Then I probably would've called to check to see if I was right in assuming that the kids weren't involved.


Given the circumstances I don't think it would be inappropriate for you to contact the host and ask for some leads on sitters.

Something similar happen to the BF and i a couple of weeks ago. A school friend of his sent an invite to his wedding, and my name wasnt on it as being invited. Considering we have been dating for nearly 2 years, he thought this was strange and rang the groom to see if there had been an error.

No error apparently, was not invited to keep the cost of the wedding down. Hmm.

This has nothing to do with children or parenting, just invitation reading

 

[kjel]

Am I right to feel a little miffed here? Or am I over-reacting because I have kids and can't see the other persepctive? Did I miss some sort of socially proper cue?

I would be a little miffed at the somewhat prickly response. However, I would have called upon giving the RSVP to inquire about the children issue. It did seem a little ambiguous about the timing and no explicit mention of adults only. I generally operate under the assumption that kids are not invited unless R.T.'s name is on the invite or children are welcome is noted. Send a nice card and/or gift in your stead.

Looong night with ZLad. He either seemed:
-Constantly hungry
-Irritable
-Sensed the stress in the house (including my stess level rising throughout the weekend)

Or a combination of all three. He finally got good sleep at 6am :-@....

It gets better. Try not to stress out-easier said than done I know-but the wee ones pick up on that.

 

[Maister]

We had the chimney sweeper come out and clean our chimneys this afternoon and I get a report from home that Junior gave the sweep the third degree. Questions ranged from the very insightful: "how do you walk on the roof - do you have magnets on your shoes?" to the very humorous "do you know Mary (Poppins)?"

 

[otterpop]

We had the chimney sweeper come out and clean our chimneys this afternoon and I get a report from home that Junior gave the sweep the third degree. Questions ranged from the very insightful: "how do you walk on the roof - do you have magnets on your shoes?" to the very humorous "do you know Mary (Poppins)?"

My son does the same thing with plumbers, the furnace guy, etc. For some reason the younger guys seem to take it more in stride than the older workers, who get annoyed pretty fast. I have been tempted a time or two to send my son to ask a question I am too embarrassed to admit I don't know the answer to.

"Papa, I have a question" is the catchphrase in our house. Increasingly, Papa does not have the answer. Oh I used to have plenty of answers when the questions were simple or he was too young to know when I was winging it. Now if my answer doesn't suit him, he will cock his head to one side and ask "Is that true?"

 

[zman]

Mylicon drops = good night of sleep for ZLad, ZMan, and ZWife.

 

[Planit]

Mylicon drops = good night of sleep for ZLad, ZMan, and ZWife.

We called that stuff "Magic Drops" and is usually included in baby shower gifts we give.

 

[southsideamy]

We called that stuff "Magic Drops" and is usually included in baby shower gifts we give.

Magic Drops in our baby shower gifts are Children's Benedryl. I'm only half joking.

 

[zman]

The magic drops work well, but now he is getting up every hour-and-a-half to eat MASSIVE amounts.

I think he is going through a growth spurt.

Almost 9 lbs and STILL 2 weeks away from his "due date"

 

[kjel]

The magic drops work well, but now he is getting up every hour-and-a-half to eat MASSIVE amounts.

I think he is going through a growth spurt.

Almost 9 lbs and STILL 2 weeks away from his "due date"

My daughter was like that too in the early months. I finally switched to formula since that seemed to satisfy her longer and allowed me to get some much needed sleep.

 

[otterpop]

Listening problem

My son has a serious listening problem of late. Not a hearing problem. What we tell him over and over again is heard by him. He just does not listen.

I came home last night and he immediately dove under the dining room table. I thought he was playing a game. After a few moments he said, "Papa, can I tell you something?"

What he told me was he had broken his dining room chair. Why? Because he was leaning back on the legs, like I told him hundreds of times not to do, and he broke one of the legs and split the wood on the front of the chair. It was the second chair he had broken. I was so pissed. The dining room set was the only legacy I have from my Uncle Frank, and the nicest furniture we have.

After I chewed him out for a while, then I asked how his book report went. That was a mistake. He told me he got a 60 on it. Just the day before he read the book to me and I quizzed him on it. Why did he fail the AR test? Because he went too fast taking the test. Something we have warned him about time and time again.

Don't get me started on how every night I have to nag him not to eat like a monkey..

He doesn't listen. It makes me crazy.

Now he is in the doghouse. We told him we are doubling up on his daily reading time. And now he must eat his dinner in the most butt-ugly and uncomfortable chair we have.

I have concluded when you are chewing out your child for his trangressions, his response "okay" is just how an eight-year-old says "shut the f**k up amd leave me alone."

Now I have to spend four full days with him. I do so love the holidays.

 

[Planit]

My son has a serious listening problem of late. Not a hearing problem. What we tell him over and over again is heard by him. He just does not listen.

.

I have one of those too. Or do we have the same child. Have to tell her multiple times to do a certain thing.

Scary though, I evidently did the same thing when I was a kid. I remember my mom taking me to the doctor for a hearing test.

Eating and the dining room chairs are the same here too. I'm very close to buying another dining room set and putting my grandmothers we use now in the attic. the chairs are getting too much play in them and I'm afraid one is going to go soon.

 

[kjel]

I have concluded when you are chewing out your child for his trangressions, his response "okay" is just how an eight-year-old says "shut the f**k up amd leave me alone."

Then comes the "alright I heard you" phase followed by the "whatever" phase.
If there's a phase past that I'm going to knock her into next week

 

[btrage]

I hear you otterpop.

My 6.5 and 3.5 year old daughters wear us down with how absolutely loud they can be at everything they do.

And my 3.5 year old has perfected the "okaaaaayyyyy". When she says it, it tell her, "No, it's not okay". It hasn't helped. She's also perfected the "I'm going to pretend that I don't even hear what daddy is saying" scheme.

After discussion with my wife, we determined that the only way we can survive the next 4 days is with a sufficient amount of booze.

 

[mendelman]

I love my boys.....I hate my boys.

That is all.

 

[DrumLineKid]

Boys

Our oldest is a semester away from disappearing for months at a time. Last week he found out his post-grad assignment: HE'S GOING TO FLY FOR THE MARINES! Six months in Quantico and then visiting you all in the Panhandle at Pensacola for a while.


It really is amazing...the little jerk that would get under your skin...becomes a Marine.:-c

 

[JNA]

This past summer I had words with my brother about/over letting his son, 8 yo, play with the firestarter when ever brother lit the grill for dinner and sticking sticks into the grill to catch fire.

I was not going to have any part of it,
but brother said it was ok because/since he said I was going to watch him. - NOT
Nephew was not even mildly impressed that I had been a Firefighter/EMT.

On other occasions nephew has played the "my daddy said I can" card once too often for me.

Amazing what brings brothers to verbal fights over what is safe or not for kids.

 

[Maister]

Am I being P whipped?

Mrs. Maister has taken to insisting that I wear sweatshirts and dress more warmly around the house. Why? Because Junior is in monkey see monkey do mode and reportedly refuses to wear sweatshirts when I'm not around because it's not what daddy wears. I get it she doesn't want him to get cold, but we keep the thermostat set at 66 throughout the winter. I can't help it she's perpetually chilled, but the fact is, that's plenty warm for t-shirts (and that's why I wear 'em). He certainly doesn't seem to be cold wearing them

Should I give in to this latest, um, insistence?

 

[Seabishop]

Mrs. Maister has taken to insisting that I wear sweatshirts and dress more warmly around the house. Why? Because Junior is in monkey see monkey do mode and reportedly refuses to wear sweatshirts when I'm not around because it's not what daddy wears. I get it she doesn't want him to get cold, but we keep the thermostat set at 66 throughout the winter. I can't help it she's perpetually chilled, but the fact is, that's plenty warm for t-shirts (and that's why I wear 'em). He certainly doesn't seem to be cold wearing them

Should I give in to this latest, um, insistence?

No. He should wear what mommy tells him to wear. And maybe like you he's just not cold.

 

[kjel]

Mrs. Maister has taken to insisting that I wear sweatshirts and dress more warmly around the house. Why? Because Junior is in monkey see monkey do mode and reportedly refuses to wear sweatshirts when I'm not around because it's not what daddy wears. I get it she doesn't want him to get cold, but we keep the thermostat set at 66 throughout the winter. I can't help it she's perpetually chilled, but the fact is, that's plenty warm for t-shirts (and that's why I wear 'em). He certainly doesn't seem to be cold wearing them

Should I give in to this latest, um, insistence?

No. He should wear what his mom picks out for him. Or just let him not wear the sweatshirt, he's old enough he will make it known if he's cold. It's not like 66F is hypothermia area.

 

[otterpop]

Mrs. Maister has taken to insisting that I wear sweatshirts and dress more warmly around the house. Why? Because Junior is in monkey see monkey do mode and reportedly refuses to wear sweatshirts when I'm not around because it's not what daddy wears. I get it she doesn't want him to get cold, but we keep the thermostat set at 66 throughout the winter. I can't help it she's perpetually chilled, but the fact is, that's plenty warm for t-shirts (and that's why I wear 'em). He certainly doesn't seem to be cold wearing them

Should I give in to this latest, um, insistence?

I get the same thing at my house. My wife nags me about wearing warmer clothes because our son parrots me. I have relented about dressing warmer when I go out - parka, gloves, and even my Mad Bomber hat when it is very cold. I point out the knuckleheads that are underdressed on the street.

I draw the line inside the house. I want to be comfortable in my own home. I ain't sweating to set a good example. But then I am only comfortable if I feel a little cool.

 

[wahday]

Mrs. Maister has taken to insisting that I wear sweatshirts and dress more warmly around the house. Why? Because Junior is in monkey see monkey do mode and reportedly refuses to wear sweatshirts when I'm not around because it's not what daddy wears. I get it she doesn't want him to get cold, but we keep the thermostat set at 66 throughout the winter. I can't help it she's perpetually chilled, but the fact is, that's plenty warm for t-shirts (and that's why I wear 'em). He certainly doesn't seem to be cold wearing them

Should I give in to this latest, um, insistence?

Next she'll be asking you not to drink beer in front of the kid! Outrageous!

Seriously, though, I think he's gonna be just fine. I know my two kids run hot, so it may very well be that he just isn't cold.

I will point out, though, that you are attempting to "solve" this problem by using "logic" when the real issue may not be that at all. Sounds to me, if I may psychoanalyze your household for a moment, that at the core of it is: a) your son is idolizing you and mimicking all your behavior and b) this is a way for junior to leverage some independent decision making from mom. I suspect that it really isn't about wearing or not wearing a sweatshirt. Its about being able to make his own decision - one that mom DIDN'T make. In fact, if its the opposite of mom's suggestion, even better. If it wasn't clothing, it would likely be something else. He's using you as the fulcrum because, well, he's a kid and being "independent" really just means taking some of that decision making from mom. At least at this stage. Later he'll shun you, too!

My 4 year old daughter fought going to school this morning using a variety of ailment claims. When I pinned her down about whether something in particular hurt or she had some pain somewhere, she floundered for a moment and then told me she had to stay home because of her tongue. Nice try. In the end, I think she was just mad that she had to do what I was telling her. Halfway to school she started talking about all the things she was going to do in her classroom.

 

[southsideamy]

Should I give in to this latest, um, insistence?

We loosely follow the Love and Logic methodology - with a bit of Super Nanny mixed in. L&L would suggest that arguing over clothes is a useless fight -- the kid has to learn on his own that he needs to wear a coat/more clothes/sweatshirts when it's cold outside or in the house. And he will learn it on his own.

We stopped reminding and reminding and reminding our kids to put on their coat and gloves and hats when they leave for the bus. We say it once: here's your coat, gloves, and hat. It only took one or two REALLY cold days waiting at the bus stop without gloves and a hat for the five year olds to know that they needed to remember their gloves and hat....like NOTHING I could have organized through reminder or post-its by the door. And I did call the school and let them know that I'm not a negligent parent, but my kid chose not to wear his coat. They got it!

We let our three year old dress herself in the mornings. She often chooses pajamas to wear all day and we're okay with that - even if we have to go out. If she's cold, she goes into her dresser and pulls out a sweater or another layer. It's her choice. She's open to suggestions on the coats for outside, but about age 4 - she'll start fighting that, I imagine.

I've got to save my energies for the fights about homework and TV watching and eating vegetables.

 

[Maister]

I guess I'm officially an Old Fuddy Duddy. It seems that nowadays BIG birthday parties are all the rage where parents spend hundreds or in some cases even thousands on birthday parties. We don't usually circulate in uber-wealthy circles but I guess Junior connected with a kid whose parents are loaded. They rented out an entire kids water park facility for several hours for their daughter's party and my son has talked about the event ever since. Guess where that set the bar:-{ Most parents don't go to that extreme, but I get the impression it's not at all uncommon for many parents in our decidedly middle class world to drop $300 - $400 at Charles Emerson Cheese's for one of their birthday package specials with pizza, party favors and game tokens for all.

So anywho, I recall having a birthday party in the basement at our house when I was 5 where my mother baked a chocolate cake and we played games like pin the tail on the donkey, Twister, and passed out 'made in Hong Kong' party favors to my kindergarden classmates. It was hoot and I doubt the whole affair would have cost more than $25 (in 2010 dollars). I had the great idea why not throw a party at OUR house like that and save mucho dinero. You would have thought I farted in church when I suggested it. I guess Mrs. Maister is convinced we're supposed to keep up with the Joneses and "kids nowadays don't enjoy playing those kinds of games".

I can't believe parents don't host birthday parties at home any more. Didn't YOU ever attend one when when you were a kid? Have any other parents thrown birthday parties at home?

 

[kjel]

I guess I'm officially an Old Fuddy Duddy. It seems that nowadays BIG birthday parties are all the rage where parents spend hundreds or in some cases even thousands on birthday parties. We don't usually circulate in uber-wealthy circles but I guess Junior connected with a kid whose parents are loaded. They rented out an entire kids water park facility for several hours for their daughter's party and my son has talked about the event ever since. Guess where that set the bar:-{ Most parents don't go to that extreme, but I get the impression it's not at all uncommon for many parents in our decidedly middle class world to drop $300 - $400 at Charles Emerson Cheese's for one of their birthday package specials with pizza, party favors and game tokens for all.

So anywho, I recall having a birthday party when I was 5 where my mother baked a chocolate cake and we played games like pin the tail on the donkey, Twister, and passed out 'made in Hong Kong' party favors to my kindergarden classmates. It was hoot and I doubt the whole affair would have cost more than $25 (in 2010 dollars). I had the great idea why not throw a party at OUR house like that and save mucho dinero. You would have thought I farted in church when I suggested it. I guess Mrs. Maister is convinced we're supposed to keep up with the Joneses and "kids nowadays don't enjoy playing those kinds of games".

I can't believe parents don't host birthday parties at home any more. Didn't YOU ever attend one when when you were a kid? Have any other parents thrown birthday parties at home?

I don't believe in lavish birthday parties at all. When RT was little it was mostly an at home affair lasting a couple of hours. Some games, party favors, cake and ice cream, and opening of presents. The first outside birthday party was when she was 9 and we had a bowling party which cost about $100 for 10 kids. Years 10-13 we lived in a community with a pool so we had a swim party and the girls spent the night. Year 14 we spent the weekend in Philadelphia, year 15 we went to Charleston for three days, year 16 we went to Turks & Caicos for a 6 days. We're coming up on year 17 and we will be on our way to Charlottesville, VA for a tour of UVA and on to Upstate SC to visit friends and tour Clemson. Since she's attending Pratt Institute of Design this summer at a cost of $3K, I told her that she already spent her birthday and then some and she was cool with it. I will take her out for a very nice dinner and take her for a mani-pedi.

 

[ursus]

On the birthday party front, we always host them at home, and nobody seems to mind. We make up treasure hunts with stupid rhymes, I tell ghost stories (I am pretty good at ghost stories, almost professional) etc. I don't think we've ever spent more than it costs to feed a dozen kids hot dogs and cake.

There are always those kids who are too cool for that kind of thing, and they just don't know what they're missing. I've been lucky because my kids have enjoyed it and so have most their friends.

 

[wahday]

Our children are already taking notes for meeting with therapists in their twenties. They are not happy about our birthday arrangements, but we are holding fast.

We have two kids and their birthdays are two months apart. In between them is Halloween. So, we have a rule: only one child gets to have a full-on party each year while the other can have some friends over for a special treat (sleepover, camping, whatever) but not a full out, make tons of food and invitations, party favors, etc. affair.

We have never rented a place out for a party, though if we were celebrating in the summer, I would consider renting out one of our public pools which you can do after hours for a nice evening party. You bring your own grill, food, etc. and they supply the lifeguards. I don't know how much it costs, but I understand its very reasonable.

We have our parties at the house or at a local public park (which you do not need to reserve). Still, with our arrangement, the kid getting the party can get pretty into establishing themes and making crap for the party. But its pretty fun. Our son had a Harry Potter themed party two years ago, so we made and printed out door signs for every room in the house, making each one something from Hogwarts. We set up a big pot with various materials (food coloring, moss, other gross stuff) for making potions. We made the cupcakes into little cauldrons. Stuff like that. My wife made up some very cool invitations which made it appear as though they had been specially selected to attend a Hogwarts event. One kids' parents let her believe for a day or so that an owl had dropped it off.

I am allergic to conspicuous displays of consumption, so Charles Cheese's place makes me want to vomit.

 

[btrage]

My daughter just turned 7, so we told her she could invite some classmates and we would take them to see Shrek Ever After. So between me and the wife, my 7 year old, 4 of her friends, my other daughter and our babysitters two kids, we dropped about $125 going to the movie. We had cake and ice cream at home and passed out some party favors for the guests. So combined, we probably spent $135. That's probably about the limit that I'd be willing to spend. And I don't see us doing a "party" for every single b-day.

But it's more about my general dislike of children, as opposed to the money.

 

[Queen B]

There are a few years when it isn't so bad to have a big elabortate party. 6,7,8 and even 9. Pick one or two but not all. I think I did a skating party or two. After that they need to understand that money doesn't grow on trees and if I get you a nice gift you may not have as big a party, at home. Girls are natorius for sleepovers. So we got by pretty easy with that.

Take that one step further. Our daughter just graduated. We had a party at our house, bought decorations and food. all said and done, we spent $300.00.
So I had to explain that we were not providing her with a "gift" on top of that right now. Certain that she will need something before college starts.

The theme, teaching them that we as parents can not supply all those things as they will not be able to get every thing they want all the time.

 

[kjel]

Is it just me or is the senior year in high school expensive? Between the various fees, activities, college visits, college applications, standardized exams...I feel like I am bleeding cash left and right and it hasn't even started! 8-!

 

[Maister]

Is it just me or is the senior year in high school expensive? Between the various fees, activities, college visits, college applications, standardized exams...I feel like I am bleeding cash left and right and it hasn't even started! 8-!

Guess landing that New Job couldn't have come at a better time for you.

 

[TOFB]

Is it just me or is the senior year in high school expensive? Between the various fees, activities, college visits, college applications, standardized exams...I feel like I am bleeding cash left and right and it hasn't even started! 8-!

I'd kill to have two high school seniors versus two college students.