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NEVERENDING ♾️ The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

dandy_warhol said:
Thanks! I appreciate the support. I have been running hot ever since Itty Bitty told me. These girls have been so mean to her all year and now she is grateful that the one that told her is acting like her friend. We've had multiple discussions about what a true friend says and acts.

This is a small private school with a code of conduct. These actions are in direct violation of the code of conduct. Now that we have it documented multiple times with the school I am ready to go in guns blazing...........but I hate confrontation.
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My oldest had mean girl tendencies when she was 11-12 years old, she did not learn that from me and I nipped that in the bud. Sometimes you have to report the issue to the school and if they don't deal with it effectively, have a discussion with the other parents. It will go one of two ways: the parent will be offended and defend their child's bad behavior or they will be apologetic about it and address it with their child. You don't need to be confrontational, just a general "I'm IB's mom and I would like to talk to you about something. Your child has been telling other kids that IB is XYZ and generally been mean to her. They don't have to be friends, but they do need to be respectful." You're doing the right things teaching Itty Bitty how to respond and what true friends say/do.

*******
rt just finished the 5th grade, time flies. Because she attends a K-6 school she has one more year left in elementary school. She's finally made good friends that will hang out and had her first sleepover this week. They had a blast. Because we live in a tiny town kids do have freedoms that others in bigger cities don't often have. They can walk to the ice cream parlor, pizza joint, or deli and the park, tennis or basketball courts. She's had an AirTag in her backpack for a couple of years but no phone because she hasn't needed one. She does have an iPad with wifi only but can make calls on it when at home but not outside. Most people no longer have home phones either. We decided to get her a phone to use when she's out but it will not go to school with her during the day. I wasn't really for it but RT pointed out that she got her first phone when she went to middle school in the 6th grade, granted it wasn't a smart phone since that wasn't a thing at the time but I guess what's good for the oldest is also good for the youngest. RT was always responsible with the phone and rt is pretty diligent maintaining her belongings so I am not that worried. My baby isn't so much a baby anymore.
 
dandy_warhol said:
Thanks! I appreciate the support. I have been running hot ever since Itty Bitty told me. These girls have been so mean to her all year and now she is grateful that the one that told her is acting like her friend. We've had multiple discussions about what a true friend says and acts.

This is a small private school with a code of conduct. These actions are in direct violation of the code of conduct. Now that we have it documented multiple times with the school I am ready to go in guns blazing...........but I hate confrontation.
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It's not confrontation when you're advocating for your child. I never wanted them to feel like I let mine down when they needed some support.

If I didn't think that the authority was taking me seriously, I gave them two choices.
1. You take care of this.
2. If you don't take care of this, I will. Are you sure you want that to happen?
 
kjel said:
rt just finished the 5th grade, time flies. Because she attends a K-6 school she has one more year left in elementary school. She's finally made good friends that will hang out and had her first sleepover this week. They had a blast. Because we live in a tiny town kids do have freedoms that others in bigger cities don't often have. They can walk to the ice cream parlor, pizza joint, or deli and the park, tennis or basketball courts. She's had an AirTag in her backpack for a couple of years but no phone because she hasn't needed one. She does have an iPad with wifi only but can make calls on it when at home but not outside. Most people no longer have home phones either. We decided to get her a phone to use when she's out but it will not go to school with her during the day. I wasn't really for it but RT pointed out that she got her first phone when she went to middle school in the 6th grade, granted it wasn't a smart phone since that wasn't a thing at the time but I guess what's good for the oldest is also good for the youngest. RT was always responsible with the phone and rt is pretty diligent maintaining her belongings so I am not that worried. My baby isn't so much a baby anymore.
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We just got a phone for our 14 yr old who's starting high school this Fall. It was time and he will be the most responsible with it. We hope this encourages him to join a school club or do some other after school activity. Plus, our HS is comfortable walking distance from our house, so that's another reason to get him the phone.
 
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kms said:
It's not confrontation when you're advocating for your child. I never wanted them to feel like I let mine down when they needed some support.

If I didn't think that the authority was taking me seriously, I gave them two choices.
1. You take care of this.
2. If you don't take care of this, I will. Are you sure you want that to happen?
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Right, I don't like confrontation but I will do it when I have to and for the sake of Itty Bitty.

I've already been preparing in my head what I will say to the parents tomorrow when I see them at drop off. Eek.
 
The oldest is leaving bright and early tomorrow morning for Girl Scout camp at Mackinac Island for 8 days.

She was all psyched and pumped up for it the past few weeks but I can tell she's starting to worry a bit now. This will be her first time away from us this long and she only knows 2 of the other girls that are going (she's met all the other girls but only one other girl from her actual troop is going and then the other girl she knows goes to her middle school but was in a different elementary school and troop). I've seen their agenda for the time they are up there and (thankfully?) they will be kept very busy from about 7:00 a.m. to late in the afternoon so that should help assuage some of her fears. My wife and I and our youngest are going to go up there for a couple days right after the 4th so at least she knows that she'll be able to see us for a few minutes on those days.

I'm pretty sure that in the end she'll enjoy the experience but I totally understand why she worries.
 
The Girl has this week off from her summer internship. She was sad she wouldn't be at summer camp she went to for many years.

One of her friends is a counselor there again this year and they always talk. She said there was no one who was swift-water rescue certified this year, so there were no kayak trips planned. The Girl reached out to the owners and offered to lead 2 kayak trips this week if they wanted her to (she really wanted to go visit). They said yes, please.

She's up there now, going down the river.





(I was inspired by kms kayak post)
 
Planit said:
The Girl has this week off from her summer internship. She was sad she wouldn't be at summer camp she went to for many years.

One of her friends is a counselor there again this year and they always talk. She said there was no one who was swift-water rescue certified this year, so there were no kayak trips planned. The Girl reached out to the owners and offered to lead 2 kayak trips this week if they wanted her to (she really wanted to go visit). They said yes, please.

She's up there now, going down the river.





(I was inspired by kms kayak post)
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That is great that she volunteered to help make the kids have an fun kayak experience!
 
WSU MUP Student said:
The oldest is leaving bright and early tomorrow morning for Girl Scout camp at Mackinac Island for 8 days.

She was all psyched and pumped up for it the past few weeks but I can tell she's starting to worry a bit now. This will be her first time away from us this long and she only knows 2 of the other girls that are going (she's met all the other girls but only one other girl from her actual troop is going and then the other girl she knows goes to her middle school but was in a different elementary school and troop). I've seen their agenda for the time they are up there and (thankfully?) they will be kept very busy from about 7:00 a.m. to late in the afternoon so that should help assuage some of her fears. My wife and I and our youngest are going to go up there for a couple days right after the 4th so at least she knows that she'll be able to see us for a few minutes on those days.

I'm pretty sure that in the end she'll enjoy the experience but I totally understand why she worries.
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She had a blast. Her duties included raising and lowering the colors at the Governor's house, directing tourists to different points of interest (and telling many where the closest bathroom was), clean-up duty around the park sites, and (her favorite) kitchen duty. We visited the island and got to see her for a few minutes on some of the days and she was all smiles everywhere we saw her and the first thing she said when we picked her up after their bus brought them back to civilization was that she wanted to do it again next year!
 
Planit said:
The Girl has this week off from her summer internship. She was sad she wouldn't be at summer camp she went to for many years.

One of her friends is a counselor there again this year and they always talk. She said there was no one who was swift-water rescue certified this year, so there were no kayak trips planned. The Girl reached out to the owners and offered to lead 2 kayak trips this week if they wanted her to (she really wanted to go visit). They said yes, please.

She's up there now, going down the river.





(I was inspired by kms kayak post)
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They asked her to provide a list of equipment they need to purchase for next year & paid her $150 too!!!
 
My youngest is being a feral child this summer-no summer school, no tutoring. Perks of living in a small town and finally making friends to hang out with outside of school. There have been two sleepovers at my house (husband calls them hostile takeovers). They bounce between houses during the day since most of us work remotely part of the week. They’ve taken themselves to the beach, deli, for pizza and ice cream. One of them has a big brother that’s teaching them all how to ride bikes. This pleases me greatly having been a feral child and my oldest one as well. No worries she has a phone and AirTag so I know where she’s at and she check in frequently. The police know all of the kids as they rotate duties through the school.

She’s off to summer camp for two weeks on the 30th. Home for two weeks and then off to Barcelona for a Mediterranean cruise.
 
kjel said:
My youngest is being a feral child this summer-no summer school, no tutoring. Perks of living in a small town and finally making friends to hang out with outside of school. There have been two sleepovers at my house (husband calls them hostile takeovers). They bounce between houses during the day since most of us work remotely part of the week. They’ve taken themselves to the beach, deli, for pizza and ice cream. One of them has a big brother that’s teaching them all how to ride bikes. This pleases me greatly having been a feral child and my oldest one as well. No worries she has a phone and AirTag so I know where she’s at and she check in frequently. The police know all of the kids as they rotate duties through the school.

She’s off to summer camp for two weeks on the 30th. Home for two weeks and then off to Barcelona for a Mediterranean cruise.
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'Feral' is a bit...much. I prefer to use the term 'free-range'.

Regardless, good for you and your husband letting her 'learn' how to strengthen her independence skills.
 
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kjel said:
My youngest is being a feral child this summer-no summer school, no tutoring. Perks of living in a small town and finally making friends to hang out with outside of school. There have been two sleepovers at my house (husband calls them hostile takeovers). They bounce between houses during the day since most of us work remotely part of the week. They’ve taken themselves to the beach, deli, for pizza and ice cream. One of them has a big brother that’s teaching them all how to ride bikes. This pleases me greatly having been a feral child and my oldest one as well. No worries she has a phone and AirTag so I know where she’s at and she check in frequently. The police know all of the kids as they rotate duties through the school.
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My daughter is in a summer day camp. Its not bad. They get to swim daily, play on the playground, and have a field trip once a week. Its fairly unstructured, and she doesn't really love it, but thats about as good as there is at the moment around here. I'd love for her to have an experience like what you describe. We just don't have enough kids the same age around or parents who can check in.
 
WSU MUP Student said:
As of today, we now have a teenager in the house. :oops:
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As of 8/17, we will have two highschoolers in the house.

Oh Yeah GIF
 
This morning was the first time that my 7 year old had a meltdown going to school. Went through plenty of them with her older sister who is in college. I was hoping we'd have a couple of more years before the "I hate my outfit, my hair isn't doing what I want, and I hate school" bit, but it only took one week of 2nd grade.
 
I've got one that went crazy at 15, she's 17 now and the other is still kind of normal at 14, but she's special. One thinks pot is the only way to cope and the other is into the Barbie movie. It's just fun on a bun.
 
I survived supervising a sleepover for my daughter and 3 other 13-year-olds (my MIL is in the hospital recovering from having her spleen and most of her pancreas removed following what looks to be a very successful chemo treatment for pancreatic cancer that was caught very early so my wife was with her for most of the evening).

Took the girls out for boba tea (I guess they like it) and Taiwanese fried chicken and then they were just loud in the house and the backyard and all seemed to be having a good time. I went to bed just after 11:00 p.m. and thankfully the bedrooms are at the far opposite end of the house as the den, where they had encamped, so I couldn't hear them, which is good since my daughter says they didn't go to sleep until about 5:00 a.m.

They were all still here in the morning and all seemed to still be in good spirits with each other so it sounds like it was a success.

At my daughter's request, I cut up an angel food cake and used it to make french toast for breakfast. Nothing like sending these kids home on a belly full of sugar!
 
WSU MUP Student said:
I survived supervising a sleepover for my daughter and 3 other 13-year-olds (my MIL is in the hospital recovering from having her spleen and most of her pancreas removed following what looks to be a very successful chemo treatment for pancreatic cancer that was caught very early so my wife was with her for most of the evening).

Took the girls out for boba tea (I guess they like it) and Taiwanese fried chicken and then they were just loud in the house and the backyard and all seemed to be having a good time. I went to bed just after 11:00 p.m. and thankfully the bedrooms are at the far opposite end of the house as the den, where they had encamped, so I couldn't hear them, which is good since my daughter says they didn't go to sleep until about 5:00 a.m.

They were all still here in the morning and all seemed to still be in good spirits with each other so it sounds like it was a success.

At my daughter's request, I cut up an angel food cake and used it to make french toast for breakfast. Nothing like sending these kids home on a belly full of sugar!
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Angel food cake french toast? Yes please.
 
WSU MUP Student said:
I survived supervising a sleepover for my daughter and 3 other 13-year-olds (my MIL is in the hospital recovering from having her spleen and most of her pancreas removed following what looks to be a very successful chemo treatment for pancreatic cancer that was caught very early so my wife was with her for most of the evening).

Took the girls out for boba tea (I guess they like it) and Taiwanese fried chicken and then they were just loud in the house and the backyard and all seemed to be having a good time. I went to bed just after 11:00 p.m. and thankfully the bedrooms are at the far opposite end of the house as the den, where they had encamped, so I couldn't hear them, which is good since my daughter says they didn't go to sleep until about 5:00 a.m.

They were all still here in the morning and all seemed to still be in good spirits with each other so it sounds like it was a success.

At my daughter's request, I cut up an angel food cake and used it to make french toast for breakfast. Nothing like sending these kids home on a belly full of sugar!
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It sounds like the had a great time.
 
I'll have a teenager by the end of September. He went to camp for two weeks again this summer, probably going to up that to 4 next year since he likes it and we like the house staying clean for longer. He's a good kid but leaves a teenager-level path of destruction in his wake and having a break from nagging was really nice. (like EVERY shower he takes the bathmat is left on the floor and he doesn't leave the fan running no matter how many times I remind him...)

I'm hoping to get him biking to school on his own this fall so that's also raising the need to him to have a phone, which we have held off on (really pretty screen-free til now). Probably going to do a flip phone- texting with T9 is so retro!
 
Faust_Motel said:
I'll have a teenager by the end of September. He went to camp for two weeks again this summer, probably going to up that to 4 next year since he likes it and we like the house staying clean for longer. He's a good kid but leaves a teenager-level path of destruction in his wake and having a break from nagging was really nice. (like EVERY shower he takes the bathmat is left on the floor and he doesn't leave the fan running no matter how many times I remind him...)
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I'm pretty sure my teenager uses the bathmat to dry off with after her showers. It's always a sopping wet mess.
 
WSU MUP Student said:
I went to bed just after 11:00 p.m. and thankfully the bedrooms are at the far opposite end of the house as the den, where they had encamped, so I couldn't hear them, which is good since my daughter says they didn't go to sleep until about 5:00 a.m.
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Our old house was like that. We mostly "lived" in the family room. The formal dining and living rooms were at the front of the house and had a door that closed them off from the rest of the house (it was actually a doorway when we moved in and I could presciently see the need to put a door in so I did). My sons would have Halo parties and be up very late like that and frankly I didn't care.

One thing a lot of house flippers do is open up walls between living rooms and family rooms to make one big great room and when I see that I always think, "There's a person who's never lived with teenagers."
 
Active shooter reported at The Girl's university.

She is safe but had been in that building about an hour prior. She said 10 students had gone to hospital with wounds. Shooter not in custody.

The campus is on lock down & she is staying in her apartment (Monday was her light class schedule). Checked on 2 other students who are friends & both safe.

Too close!
 
Planit said:
Active shooter reported at The Girl's university.

She is safe but had been in that building about an hour prior. She said 10 students had gone to hospital with wounds. Shooter not in custody.

The campus is on lock down & she is staying in her apartment (Monday was her light class schedule). Checked on 2 other students who are friends & both safe.

Too close!
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That is awful. I am so sorry to hear that.
 
Planit said:
Active shooter reported at The Girl's university.

She is safe but had been in that building about an hour prior. She said 10 students had gone to hospital with wounds. Shooter not in custody.

The campus is on lock down & she is staying in her apartment (Monday was her light class schedule). Checked on 2 other students who are friends & both safe.

Too close!
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Oh no. I'm glad she's safe.
 
Glad she's safe. Not worried about you though. There are plenty of young planners after for your job.
 
It’s the last week of a very busy summer. rt has had a fantastic time. Hanging out with friends, sleepovers, events on the beach, two weeks at sleepaway camp, and we just got back from a Mediterranean cruise. Now to try and regulate her sleep cycle for the start of school next week!
 
kjel said:
It’s the last week of a very busy summer. rt has had a fantastic time. Hanging out with friends, sleepovers, events on the beach, two weeks at sleepaway camp, and we just got back from a Mediterranean cruise. Now to try and regulate her sleep cycle for the start of school next week!
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That is the life. To be a kid with a little bit of freedom and the biggest worries be the toppings on the pizza or who's house you get to spend the night at.
 
Planit said:
Too close!
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There was a mass shooting in a church near our home (like 3 miles) way back in 1999. It was surreal. Going from memory, but I believe a teacher from the elementary school where my kids went was shot (not fatally) and another teacher's spouse was killed. A coworker's son was there, was shot at but ducked down in time; the adult in the room was killed. The son was interviewed on the evening news. It was crazy.
 
We went to a high school football game last week because our youngest was doing a cheer camp performance before the game. I counted no fewer than 25 officers (1/4 of total officers) and 2 dogs. The first football weekend of the year there were four incidents across the state at high school games where play had to be stopped due to people either fighting or having a gun. Luckily, none were local. Shots were actually fired just outside one of the stadiums just across the state line in GA.
 
For the very most part, my kids teen years were easy on me. The "terrible twos" were exaggerated as well, IMO.
 
Gedunker said:
For the very most part, my kids teen years were easy on me. The "terrible twos" were exaggerated as well, IMO.
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Three was worse than two both times. I refer to teen years as the alien inhabitation stage. First child ages 14-17 were the hardest, but she’s always been a good kid. She’s 30 now and an amazing person so it does get better.
 
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