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Humor šŸ¤£ Cyburbia High - 2000s edition

The Terminator

The Terminator

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It's 2005, and we are all back in High School!

GTA San Andreas just dropped on the PS2, Fall Out Boy is the biggest band on MTV2 and we all have myspace profiles and still use AIM.

I am the freshman class clown who has just discovered who the "Dead Kennedys" are. @luckless pedestrian is my homeroom teacher and @WSU MUP Student is my ex-marine science teacher/wrestling coach. @Doohickie is my upperclassman friend who drives his grandpa's '72 Dart and @jumbach is the guidance counselor.

Take the scenario and run with it! At Cy High, Are you a Millennial student or a Gen X Teacher?
 
Fine, I get to be the metal shop teacher who doesn't care because retirement is coming soon. Nice bong you made, I'll give you a B because the welds aren't the best. Now go melt it down.

True statement from my school's shop teacher.
 
DVD said:
Fine, I get to be the metal shop teacher who doesn't care because retirement is coming soon. Nice bong you made, I'll give you a B because the welds aren't the best. Now go melt it down.

True statement from my school's shop teacher.
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More importantly, how many of your shop teacher's fingers were missing?
 
I am the nerdy but kind of cool young Xennial social studies teacher who also manages the Junior State debate club. I wear a wallet chain and sometimes play hackey sack at recess with the students. In my evenings I play bass in a Hootie and the Blowfish cover band that's also been trying out some original material. We gig every weekend at dives around the metro area and hope to someday get signed. I drive a '99 Eagle Talon TSI with the 5 speed manual
 
I'm your late GenX world history teacher that 'forces' my classes to listen to CAKE regularly. I also hesitantly, but regularly inform my classes that history is written by the winners and we are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. (Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night).

I'm also the only adult in the school gladly driving a 1999 Ford Escort wagon with a 5sp manual trans and a Thule roof rack with kayak carrier.
 
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I would have been the junior in the band program. But I could play against type and be a jock, sort of a William Zabka type character.
 
JNA said:
I am a 1975 class graduate, who left town. I skipped all the reunions.
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You're the kid in band class who plays the tympani, is on the JV Pickleball team and has his parents 1970s music taste and gets dropped off in a 1993 Chevy Lumina APV van with 130k miles and a mishung exhaust. You look like Michael Cera but can low key kick ass when you are threatened by the Football team.

Your girlfriend is Mrs. Ciappa; the 24 year old science teacher fresh out of Columbia Teachers College, but you are keeping it on the DL because you know your friends would be jealous and tell the principal/your dad.
 
I'm that American Lit teacher that thinks he's cooler than he actually is, champions liberal causes, makes a halfhearted attempt to project hipster vibes, and openly decries how "W is the worst President this country will ever have." Little did I know. I can be seen each morning exiting my 1988 Olds Cutlass Supreme carrying my artisan-crafted mug filled with fair trade coffee.
 
I'm the guy that drives the milk truck that arrives every day with the little cardboard cartons of milk. I've got a huge crush on the girl's PE instructor but never run into her in the service area of the cafeteria. I'll meet her one day, I know I will.
 
Yeah, I'd be the late-20's English teacher, trying and failing to be Robin Williams in Dead Poets society, binder full of REM and Tragically Hip CDs in my 1989 Isuzu Trooper with more bondo than metal below the beltline.
 
mendelman said:
a 1999 Ford Escort wagon
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Basically this:

1998 Escort wagon.jpg
 
I am absolutely the janitor. I am John Candy in coveralls. I joke around with all the kids, who pity me and low-key abuse me - but I love them, obviously and they know I'd go to jail for any of them. When somebody threw up in a study carrel, The assistant librarian came to my closet and caught me reading my worn-out copy of "Leaves of Grass" We are now in an unofficial lunch-book-club. We're reading "Walden" together now and she's trying to talk me into going back to school.

She looks like Marisa Tomei, and makes me feel like I could be something. She is in love with the shop teacher (@DVD) and it is killing me. :)
 
AIB ^^^
Who is the Carl the Janitor ( the character from the breakfast club) ?
 
Iā€™m the former city planner turned cafeteria guy. I relocated here under witness protection after testifying in a certain RICO situation involving an un-named 1%er motorcycle club.

Iā€™m just trying to keep a low profile serving up pre-Michelle Obama lunches. Itā€™s deep fried everything, chocolate milk, and pizza that counts as a vegetable . Enjoy your tots, kidsā€¦ you never saw me.
 
I am the late 20's charismatic woodshop teacher with commitment issues and seem to have a different date every night of the week. I spend a lot of time talking about how different spices of wood move differently and how you need to pay attention to not only the grain, but the cut of the wood to assure that they don't cup or warp. My students get frustrated because while I reward them for tying with decent grades, I frequently tell them their projects are crap and they need to do more sanding. Finally, people randomly come and go from my class since I always have a fresh pot of coffee going.
 
Who is/was that teacher that gave quizes on monday when their alma mater football team loses ?
 
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