Fancasting the Elon Musk Biopic

[Wannaplan?]

Who do you want to portray Elon Musk? Don't like the three choices? Discuss below! You have three weeks. Votes are not shared publicly (Tilda Swinton stans will not be outed).

 

[mendelman]

I think Tilda Swinton just for the trolling factor alone. Also she's a great actor too.

 

[The Terminator]

Misread this initially as "Fancasting El*n M*sK as BIPOC"

 

[Wannaplan?]

On the drive home, I thought of these combos, no doubt my creativity is on fire, Hollywood needs to call me so they can start making real bank:

• Sacha Baron Cohen as Elon, directed by Adam McKay
• Nicolas Cage as Elon, directed by Martin Scorsese
• Mike Myers as Elon, yeah baby, directed by Quentin Tarantino, reuniting the two after their memorable Academy Award pairing in Inglourious Basterds. (If Quentin Tarantino directed this version of the Elon biopic, he'd have to have a gunfight in space with Musk v. Bezos. Maybe include fricken laser beams?! And they'd have to cast Vin Diesel as Jeff Bezos. You can't have Bezos as a big dumb nerdy pussy, that's the very reason why they're making the Elon biopic in the first place, geez!)
• There has to be a multiverse version as well, with a bit where Elon somehow meets Jeffrey Epstein. But who could play Epstein with believability? David Harbour? Jeff Daniels? Adam Sandler? I suppose none of them would want to play him, defintely a role that would be a career killer. Speaking of dead careers, how many times has John Travolta successfully revived a moribund acting career? He might be the one! But then again, maybe casting a real pedophile is the best strategy, maybe if they could try to Jared Fogle the subway pedophile out of prison. On second thought, nah, that will never happen, who am I kidding. They need a performer with a strong jaw. What about The Newsman muppet from the Muppet Show? Checks some of the boxes, could be a front runner.

 

[Bubba]

Who the heck has fantasies about an Elon Musk biopic...?

 

[mendelman]

Who the heck has fantasies about an Elon Musk biopic...?

 

[Wannaplan?]

Who the heck has fantasies about an Elon Musk biopic...?

Sorry. I’m still working on self-regulating. But ever since my wife died, I get pretty lonely at times. No one to talk to, or share jokes with, that kind of thing. I guess if I stayed off the keyboard more often, I would offend fewer of my online parasocial friends.

 

[The Terminator]

Sorry. I’m still working on self-regulating. But ever since my wife died, I get pretty lonely at times. No one to talk to, or share jokes with, that kind of thing. I guess if I stayed off the keyboard more often, I would offend fewer of my online parasocial friends.

Dont let him grind you down and daydream whatever you like! Wifey wouldn't want you to be unhappy.

I personally don't care who plays the man, as long as the movie ends with El*n being mauled and dismembered by a Jaguar or being made to spacewalk without a spacesuit

 

[ursus]

Sorry. I’m still working on self-regulating. But ever since my wife died, I get pretty lonely at times. No one to talk to, or share jokes with, that kind of thing. I guess if I stayed off the keyboard more often, I would offend fewer of my online parasocial friends.

Did I miss a part where we encourage self-regulating around here? Haha! When you think about posting - POST! I always ask myself "If I can't ask Cyburbia, then who the fuck am I gonna ask?" Bring it.

My opinion is that the whole thing should be tackled with Muppets. Let the timeless art of puppetry take the blows that would otherwise come from having to portray people as weird-looking as Elon and/or as distasteful as somebody like Epstein. "Muppets" is the only correct answer!

 

[mendelman]

I personally don't care who plays the man, as long as the movie ends with El*n being...

...shipped to Mars and Earth loses his number.

 

[joscoffee]

Misread this initially as "Fancasting El*n M*sK as BIPOC"

Don Glover